


Simon and Baz: A Love Story

by nipthelostgirl



Category: Carry On - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Sex, First Time, Fluff, Happy ending! Cuz they deserve it!, I should have already added physical parental abuse, M/M, Mordelia loves to cuss, No rape but definitely some non-con touching, Pining, Torture, royal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:59:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nipthelostgirl/pseuds/nipthelostgirl
Summary: Watford is a kingdom once ruled by the Pitch family.  Now overthrown by The Mage, King Davy, what is left of the Pitch family now owes allegiance to him.  Baz is considered a royal hostage to insure that loyalty and has been raised with the heir-apparent, Simon.  The two have hated each other for years (or so they like to pretend) but after a drunk kiss things between them get a bit more confusing...and dangerous.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do have this plotted out. I’m thinking about 17 chapters. Post will be sporadic but sooner than later.

SIMON

The ballroom glowed with golden light while a full orchestra played lightly over the buzz of the crowd. The whole kingdom had come for my eighteenth birthday party, or at least those that mattered, according to my father, King Davy. Lords fluttered around him like moths on a flame. He caught my gaze and raised his glass with a superior smile.

I hurried and turned my gaze back to the Princess Agatha of the kingdom Wellbelove. She was easily the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Her pale skin, brilliant blue eyes, golden hair, and perfect figure looked like something straight out of a fairytale. It was dazzling, blinding almost, and I never failed to stutter when we spoke. If she looked directly at me words tended to fail me altogether. 

"Simon, are you listening?"

I blinked. "O-oh, I'm s-sorry, Princess."

She sighed, annoyed, and looked away. I followed her gaze and also became annoyed. She'd been looking more and more often at Basilton Pitch. Currently, he was leaning coolly against the wall watching the dancers. His suit was impeccable, his hair slicked perfectly, and he looked completely at ease. He was certainly something to look at. If Agatha was a fairytale princess then Baz was Prince Charming. I wanted to punch his perfect nose.

Baz was more a prince than I'd ever be. His cool collection never wavered and I was a walking mess. He was born to it and I-well I was not. For over 300 years the Pitch family had ruled with an iron fist over Watford Kingdom, until my father banded with a bunch of mages and overthrew them. That was 18 years ago today. No one of the Pitch line was spared, but rumors started that the young Pitch prince had been smuggled out of the castle during the attack. The rumors turned out to be true.

I was eleven the day Baz was marched into the great hall, his hands bound and his clothes torn. Even haggard as he was he stood with confidence and grace not usually possessed by eleven year olds. His father, Malcom Grimm, consort to the the late queen, was dragged in behind him. Grimm pleaded with my father and in the end, Baz's life was spared at the cost of the entire Grimm fortune and their undying loyalty. From that day on, Baz became a permanent fixture in my life. A royal prisoner, he was called. Father wanted him kept close, so we were taught together, lived together, trained together. It was almost as if we were brothers. Almost. I don't know if I would describe my feelings as hate, definitely dislike, but Baz loathed me with his whole being. I suppose it's only fair, as I'm the only child of the man that killed his family and stole his freedom.

Baz had caught us looking and smirked. He ambled over, his posture elegant and as always utterly perfect. He bowed low to Agatha and grandly kissed her hand. Her cheeks pinked and she smiled at him. I scowled.

"Princess Agatha, stunning as per usual," Baz simpered. He could be disarmingly charming when he wanted to be. He turned to me with a more mocking smile and dipped his head. "Your highness." A lot of people addressed me as your highness - I mean I am the prince - but when Baz did it I felt little and stupid, like Baz considered the very idea of me being a prince utterly hilarious. It probably was.

"Good evening, Baz," I said in greeting, attempting to be agreeable. "You could at least try to pretend you're having fun."

"Yes, of course, because celebrating my family's downfall is the very picture of a good time."

I flushed. "I didn't mean -"

"No you didn't. You never mean anything. I suppose I should wish you a happy birthday, seeing as you're so important and all. The heir to a stolen throne and all that."

"Must you always be so unpleasant," I said through gritted teeth.

He smirked. "No not at all. I just enjoy it. I'm surprised a ball was what you wanted. I've seen you dance and it's hardly dancing."

"It was father's idea."

Baz laughed unkindly.

"You would think he'd have more care over you're safety." He turned his mocking sneer to Princess Agatha. "I once watched him knock a poor girl over who hit the chandelier lever which came crashing to the floor and started the whole place on fire. It was a miracle everyone survived." 

Agatha giggled then coughed as she politely tried to cover it up. 

"That was two years ago!"

"I shudder to think how you might have improved."

I felt my skin grow hot. I was a mage, like my father, but the magic never came when I wanted it to but flared up when most unnecessary, like now. I couldn't stop the anger. I never could around Baz. It burned beneath my skin and I struggled to keep it down. Baz stepped closer, a dangerous look on his face.

"You going to blow up, your highness? Come on. Let's see it."

My hands shook and I clenched them into fists. I stepped even closer and shoved my face near his.

"I wish my father had never brought you here," I hissed. "If your family was anything like you they deserved what they got."

Before he could answer, I whirled around and stormed off before my magic really went off.


	2. Chapter 2

BAZ

Simon's burning scent lingered behind him; the smell of a campfire. Agatha had said something but I wasn't really listening. I probably should. How grand would it be to sweep that pretty prize from under Simon's feet? She'd be the perfect ally for regaining the throne. I knew she had been brought specifically for Simon. Her father was wealthy and influential. Just the kind of thing Davy liked to collect. Not to mention they looked absurdly good together. It was like marrying the sunrise and sunset.

Agatha seemed to realize I wasn't listening and snorted in frustration. She followed Simon. I almost called her back but decided to slink off to a corner and sulk. 

Simon words burned me. They were cruel and Simon wasn't cruel. That was his father. I knew that from the first moment I had laid eyes on Davy. I had assumed his son would be no different but I couldn't have been more surprised. Simon's different tactics of making friends with me were equally clumsy, annoying, and oddly endearing. It hadn't taken long for me to realize the golden boy was everything his father wasn't. Simon was warm where Davy was cold. Simon was kind where Davy was cruel. Simon was the sun. And I was hopelessly in love with him.

SIMON

I regretted my words the moment they left my mouth. How could I possibly think anyone deserved to die? I didn't know Baz's family but that made no difference. I did know Baz and I'd never wish him dead. Sure he was mean and bitter but he'd also lost everything. I could try as hard as I wanted to pretend if I was kind enough we could become friends and I could make his life not so bad but who was I compared to a family? To freedom?

I'd seen Baz occasionally when he thought he was alone and I'd recognized the lost, almost dead, look in his eyes. Loneliness. Despair. Sadness. Baz had been sorely wronged and I had the gall to wave his family's death in his face. The words left a sick feeling in my gut.

I drank all night. I'd never had the chance for more than a glass or two and I liked the dizzy feeling it left in my head. It almost covered up my shame. It made it easier to dance even though Baz was watching. It wasn't till late I finally staggered to my chamber.

BAZ

I watched Simon and Agatha and seethed. She had just stood there and let me abuse Simon, even had laughed at him. She didn't deserve Simon. Obviously I was worse but I would never deserve Simon. I'd known that from the moment I realized that the urge to strangle him was really a desire to kiss him. The stupid bastard. 

He steadily drank himself silly and watching a sloshed Simon bumble about was a unique pleasure. His dancing was graceless and artless but he glowed. I drank as much of him in as I dared until I knew I had to leave before I caught up with him and kissed him sober. 

I headed to our shared chamber early unable to bear his obvious and unskilled flirting with every girl in the room. Our room could probably fit three or four commoner homes it was so large. Large enough Simon and I had our own space but close enough to drive me insane. Everything smelled like him. And yet, I knew if they ever tried to move me out I'd be devastated. 

I read in bed, waiting for Simon because I was an idiot. I was dozing off when he burst in and immediately sprawled over the floor. I leapt out of bed, startled.

"Good grief, highness!"

He groaned and struggled to get up. I sighed, grabbed under his arms, and heaved him up. He fell against me and I staggered under his weight.

"You absolutely reek. Have your ever drank this much?"

He groaned and rubbed his face on my shoulder.

"You're a disgrace."

"Why are you always so mean?" He whined as I started to drag him towards his bed. 

"You just make it so easy, highness."

"That's not my name."

"It is to me," I growled. 

Simon stopped, sagged and looked up at me mournfully. "I'm sorry, Baz. If I were you I'd hate me too."

He looked as if he was going to cry.

"I'm such a mess," he choked out, "and you're always so perfect." He stroked his hand down my chest and I shuddered. "I'll never be a prince like you. It should be you."

He was still looking up at me and I suddenly found it hard to breath. His face was so close. 

"I don't hate you," was all I could say. 

He smiled. "I don't hate you either. I don't wish you were dead and I'm sorry about your family. I wish I could give them back to you."

"It's not your fault. Never was."

He swayed slightly and I tightened my grip around his waist. His hand caught behind my neck pulling us closer. His eyes were dazed but they flicked to my mouth.

"Simon..." I started, unsure what I was going to say but he cut me off. With his lips. His lips on mine. He was kissing me. Every thought in my head shut down. He smelled like alcohol and sweat and his lips were chapped but I moaned against him. His lips quirked into a smile and that time I growled. I dragged him closer and pressed against him. I cupped his face, tilting it just where I wanted and kissed him like I'd always dreamed of. It was his turn to moan and his hand on my neck slid up and took a handful of hair. I growled again, ready to devour him, when suddenly he went limp and sagged in my arms. I grunted and held on to him as I shuffled a few steps forward and dumped him on his bed. He’d passed out completely.

I stared at him in shock, still panting from kissing him. What the hell had just happened?! Maybe I had fallen asleep and Simon really hadn't come back yet. He was probably off kissing Agatha behind a garden pillar or something. I dreamed all this. 

Simon grunted and shifted, looking uncomfortable, so I pulled his boots off and helped him out of his dress coat. I unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt because I have issues and was still reeling from that kiss.

I stared at him a moment before turning back to my own bed but Simon reached out and grabbed my hand. He looked blearily up at me with a stupid smile on his face.

He said, "You called me Simon," before he knocked off again. Oh Merlin, help me.


	3. Chapter 3

SIMON

I was dead. No I was dying. Being dead couldn't possibly hurt this much. Sun poured through the high windows, warm and bright, and I shrank from it. My head felt like it was full of mining dwarves, banging around with hammers. There were no nuggets of gold in my brain. I was pretty sure of that. 

I rolled from bed with a groan and threw off my clothes from last night. Blindly, I pulled out something clean and dragged it on. I stumbled out of the room towards the kitchen.

Baz was sitting in the great hall, reading at one of the tables. He head snapped up and for a moment he almost looked terrified but it was gone so fast I could've imagined it. I grunted at him in greeting, remembering my horrible words from last night, and attempted a smile. I'm fairly sure it was more a grimace.

"You were in bed so long I'd almost hoped you'd died."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," I muttered, letting the familiar hurt roll through me. I rushed passed him. I knew Ebb would have something good for me. Maybe even scones. Food made everything better.

BAZ

I started in terror when Simon emerged around mid afternoon. I didn't know if I wanted him to remember the kiss or not. He walked into the great hall looking ruffled and delicious. His hair was a wild mess. It looked how I imagined it would after a night of debauchery and me running my fingers through it. He glanced up and grimaced. He didn't remember a thing. I could tell. 

Relief and disappointment knocked the breath out of me. What would have happened if he had remembered? Would he be embarrassed? Angry? Terrified as I was? Would he want to again? The stupid hope of that thought stung and I opened my stupid mouth and let the nastiness out. His hurt was quick and resigned. I wanted to kick myself. No! I wanted to scream. I don't mean it! Any of it! I wanted to chase him down, push him against the wall and kiss him. I wanted to make him remember last night and force him to tell me why. I wanted to drag him back to our room, throw him on a bed and, well, yeah. 

I flopped down over my book and groaned. I was so messed up.

SIMON 

Ebb had made me scones! Specially for me! As they melted in my mouth I almost forgot about Baz. My next stop was the library. My head still felt like it was going to fall off and it needed immediate attention. There was only one person I trusted to fix it.

"Penny!" I whined as soon as I saw her. She looked up from a pile of books she was sorting through. Her face immediately fell to pity.

"Oh Simon, love, you look like shit."

I nodded pathetically. "Fix iiiiiiit!" I fell on her lap and pouted into her neck. 

"Oof. Alright, fatty, but get off. Sit here." She kicked a chair by her and I sank into it muttering that I wasn't fat. Her hands went to my temples and I sighed as her healing magic began to sink in.

"Oh, this is just what I needed."

"Baz was in here earlier. He looked terrible."

I snorted. Baz never looked terrible.

"He kept muttering to himself and it sounded a lot like you kept coming up."

I sighed. "He was so mean last night, Penny, and in front of Agatha. I said awful things back to him. He's probably plotting my death."

Penny hummed in amusement. "Oh I'm sure he's plotting but I highly doubt it's your death."

"But you agree he's plotting."

She tugged my hair gently then went back to rubbing. "I have a present for you."

"For me? Aww shucks, Penny, you shouldn't have."

"Shut up, Si, you love presents, especially from me because they're ones you actually want."

Penny walked away so I followed her with a sigh. My head felt a million times better but I had been willing to milk that head rub for as long as I could get it. She went behind the large circular desk where the master librarian usually sat. We saw less and less of him since Penny took such good care of the books. I watched as she fiddled under the desk for what seemed forever.

"Did you loose it?"

She snapped a glare at me. "No. I hid it so no one would see it."

That definitely peaked my curiosity. "Penny, are you giving me something illegal?"

"Not exactly." She stood and held out a flat package wrapped in paper and tied with a string. Penny looked at me with pensive excitement. This felt a lot more serious than a little gift. 

I unwrapped the paper and gasped when it fell off. "Penny...how...where...?"

"I found it in a book during some of my studies. It looked as if it had been there a while. I thought you would want it."

"Penny...I can't believe..." Tears pricked my eyes. Lying in my hands was a small portrait of my mother. After her death father had all her portraits burned. He said it hurt too much to see her.

She looked young and uncertain but beautiful. I looked like her. I was all her down to our coloring and curling yellow hair and face shape. I hadn't seen her face since I was little. "Thank you, Penny," I said softly, giving into the tears.

"Happy birthday, Simon."

BAZ

I avoided the room for as long as possible. I was on edge all day. Anytime I heard someone coming I was equally terrified and exhilarated then equally relieved and crushed when it wasn't Simon. His kiss had completely wrecked me. All the coldness I had built up, all my practiced expressions and unfeeling lines, pulverized. It almost made me mad enough to find Simon and shake him to pieces. I'd avoided feeling like this for years. My feelings had been in perfect control despite all my mad daydreams, but one single, drunk kiss and I'd lost my mind. 

Finally, it was so late the guards were starting to squint suspiciously each time they caught me so I headed for our room. I took a final breath and tried to collect myself before pushing the door open. 

Simon yanked his night shirt down and hid his face the moment he heard me but not before I saw his back. It was red with raised, puffy skin. I gaped, shocked, before anger bubbled up.

"Who did that? Who hurt you?"

Simon sniffed and sent me a red eyed glare. "Jealous someone beat you to it," he snapped. 

I stepped closer, clenching my fists. "Who fucking hurt you?" I growled. 

Surprise tightened his face but I saw it crumbling into pain. 

"Take your shirt off and lie on the bed. Those marks need some healing magic."

His eyes widened. "Are you going to heal them?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Merlin, because it looks like they might be bleeding! Do you want them to get infected?"

He squinted. "Why do you care?"

I growled and pushed my fingers through my hair. "Listen, I know I'm an asshole but I'm not all asshole. Do you want me to fix your back or not?"

He stared then sighed. "Fine." He slipped carefully out of his shirt and lay across his bed. He was hurt but I couldn’t resist admiring the shape of him. He was beautiful. 

I winced as I examined his wounds. They were really bad. Some were just welts but other looked torn, leaving thin lines of blood. Gently, I brushed my fingers over them as I began pushing warm healing magic into his back. Simon whimpered but kept still.

"Who hurt you?" I asked again, softer this time. "Tell me, Simon. Please."

"My father." He began to sob into his pillows. "He was furious about last night. I was supposed to make a good impression on Agatha but I got drunk and botched it all up. Apparently, I insulted her and her father left upset. I hate being this way. Why am I so bad at everything? Why can't I do anything right?" Simon tangled his fingers in his thick hair and pulled at it. I grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Stop. Don't hurt yourself more."

He pulled from me and sat up, wincing in pain. "Why do you care? You've never cared." Fat tears rolled down his cheeks. "You're right about everything. I'm just a big joke. I'm clumsy and stupid!"

"Stop!" Without thinking, I reached for him and pulled him into me. This was the stupidest thing I'd ever done but I didn't want to see him like this. I ached inside knowing it was me who did this. I hurt him.

Simon sucked in a shuddering breath and froze against me. I winced as I went on, "I shouldn't have said those things. I didn't mean them. I just...it's me that...I'm the one that always says the wrong thing. I'm...sorry." 

SIMON 

Baz just apologized. And he was hugging me. And he'd called me Simon. I blinked. What was happening?

"I mean it, Simon. I'm always so...mad, and I take it out on you because...I don't know...I really am an asshole."

"You...just apologized."

"Yes I did, alright. Will you not make this harder than it needs to be."

I was about to point out that he was also hugging me but I was afraid he'd let go if I embarrassed him further. I slipped my own arms around him and relaxed, letting my head rest on his shoulder. It felt nice being held like this. It felt safe. Funny that it would be Baz who made me feel safe. I wished it could be like this all the time. Exhaustion crashed over me, especially as Baz started rubbing more of his healing magic into my back. I liked nice Baz.

BAZ 

"That bastard," I grunted, trying to ignore the excited spark in my gut from how good it felt to hold Simon. He had relaxed against me and was sniffing back his tears. 

Simon let out a wet giggle. "He is a bastard."

His back looked less red but I kept sliding my fingers against it. I wanted to touch him everywhere. So much it hurt. I quickly yanked my hands back and pulled away from him, trying to scramble from the bed without looking obvious about it.

"That should feel better now."

"Wait!" 

I looked back at him and he stuttered, "Don't go. Stay. Stay here tonight." 

I lifted an eyebrow. That was a bad idea. "I'm just over there."

He squeezed his hands. "If...if you're still being nice, I'd like you to stay. I-I don't want to be alone tonight."

His eyes were still red and he looked so sad and lost. I was pathetic when it came to Simon. I nodded and heard myself saying, "Let me just dress for bed."

I tried to collect myself once on my side of the room. Simon wanted me to stay by him. He wanted me to sleep by him. In his bed. My hands shook as I dressed for bed. 

Simon had laid back down on his stomach. He held a picture in his hand that looked like a young girl. A stab of jealousy hit me. “Who is that?” 

Simon smiled and I stopped breathing. He was so damn beautiful! Damn it!

He held the picture up. “It’s my mother.”

So it was. It was obvious now. They almost looked like twins. “You look like her.”

He nodded eagerly, his smile gleaming. “Father destroyed all the pictures of her soon after she died. I haven’t seen her face in years.”

I knew that feeling. I didn’t even remember my mother. "She’s beautiful.”

Simon nodded and smiled lovingly at his mother. 

“How’s your back?”

“Much better, thank you.”

“I could put more healing in it, if you like?”

He nodded. “Thank you, Baz.”

It didn’t take long for Simon to start snoring softly. Carefully, I lay down beside him. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to kiss his smooshed lips. I wanted to hold him close and protect him from ever being sad again. I was a mess of wants but finally fell asleep to the smell of Simon everywhere.


	4. Chapter 4

SIMON 

I woke up slowly, so comfy and warm that I never wanted to move. The first thing I saw was Baz. He was still asleep, the side of his face pressed into the pillow, his lips softly parted, and his bangs falling over his face. How he managed to always look amazing I’d never know. 

I liked looking at him like this. All soft and warm. Plus he had stayed. I recalled his hug from the night before and something warmed in my chest. I wanted to kiss him. 

The impulse startled me. Why on earth would I kiss Baz? He’d probably chop my lips off. I stared at his mouth and considered how I would do it but then his eyes slid open. He looked mildly alarmed for a moment but than his gaze settled on me. 

“Simon?” He puzzled softly. 

I looked back at his lips and moved forward carefully. He watched me cautiously but didn’t move. Finally I tipped my head and touched my lips to his. My heart was pounding in my chest and hot terror filled me when Baz didn’t move. I just about pulled away when his hand curled around my hip and he returned my kiss. I peeked an eye open. Baz’s eyes were closed and I hummed, delighted, against his lips. 

We parted slightly and he looked up at me. 

“Why did you do that?” He whispered. 

“I wanted to. Why did you stay?”

“I wanted to.” 

I smiled and leaned to kiss him again. This time I reached over him, propping myself above him. His fingers brushed against my bare sides as he held onto me. 

We kissed and kept kissing until my arms grew tired and I lowered myself on top of him. We both made noises at the added contact. I pressed into him, delighted his body felt as awake as mine. 

Before I could better explore that discovery someone knocked on the door. We sprang apart and Baz tumbled off the bed. 

“Shit!” He hissed.

“Your Highness?” A voice called from the other side of the door. “Your father requires your presence.”

“One moment!”

Baz was already on his side, throwing clothes on and running a hand threw his hair. I moved to cut him off from the door.

“Baz. Wait.”

“Move, Your Highness,” he growled. 

“Baz. Please.”

He brushed me out of the way and threw open the door. My father’s valet jumped out of the way at the sight of Baz’s stormy face. His annoyance left quickly as he smiled at me. 

“Shall I help you prepare?”

BAZ

I hightailed it to the library, swearing the whole time. What the fuck!? Did I seriously just make out with Simon? In bed? In *his* bed!? While he wasn’t wearing a shirt!? Shit! Fuck! Hell! Fucking hell!!!! 

I think I was hyperventilating. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined - ok never mind I had imagined a lot more than making out with Simon - but I had never expected it to ever actually happen!

“Wow, you look terrible.”

“Thank you, Penny,” I sneered.

“You ever think you’re going to tell him.”

I froze and turned to Penny.

“Tell who what?”

Penny raised an eyebrow. “Baz, you’ve come in here nearly everyday since you’ve lived here. I’m pretty sure I know you better than anyone. You can keep denying it to everyone else but I know.” 

“Know what?”

“That you’re in love with -“

I dove at Penny and slapped a hand over her mouth. I could see the smirk clearly in her eyes. 

“Uh...uh....” I stammered.

Penny tugged my hand away.

“Just talk to him.”

“...I can’t. I’m horrible to him...he would never...I don’t...”

Penny pinned me with a glare. “If you’re trying to say you don’t deserve him, that’s the truth. He’s better than all of us.”

“How...how long has Davy hurt him?”

“Since we were young.”

“I-I didn’t know.”

“He hides it well.”

I puffed out a sigh. “He...he kissed me.”

Penny’s eyebrows shot up. “Simon did. When?”

“Just now. He...and then I...why would he do that?”

Penny shrugged. “It’s Simon. He’s probably been in love with you for years and just realized it this morning. Merlin knows he talks about little else.”

“He talks about me?”

“All the time.” She didn’t sound to happy about that. I was baffled.

“Why?”

“Honestly, I think you’re a prick but, really, Simon has a thing for saving the sad ones.”

“I’m not sad.” I bristled. 

“Baz, you’re pathetic.”

I frowned at her. “I am not,” I muttered. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Simon never makes sense. Why don’t you ask him to explain himself? He’s right there.”

SIMON 

I managed to shake the valet fairly quickly and hurried to the library. I knew that’s where Baz would go. 

I had kissed him. Like a lot. I still couldn’t quite believe it. The most surprising part was I was pretty sure I’d been wanting to do that for a while. Also he had kissed me back. That had to mean something right?

I found him talking to Penny and she waved a hand at me. His head popped up and he stared at me in terror. 

“Baz, we need to talk.”

He cooled his face amazingly quick. “I’m sure that’s not necessary. Didn’t your father request your presence?”

“This is more important.”

He stared at me but finally sighed. “Fine.” He grabbed my sleeve and dragged me into the stacks.

“What?” He sounded defensive. 

“About this morning-“

“We can pretend it never happened.”

“I liked it.”

Baz smirked. “That was obvious.”

I blushed. “You did too.”

I couldn’t read his expression. He looked angry or maybe he was trying to read me. I took a deep breath and went for it. “I don’t want to pretend it never happened.”

“What do you want?”

“I thought that was obvious,” I whispered, embarrassed despite my words. I stared at the floor waiting for his answer.

BAZ

I nearly smiled at his answer but it seemed too good to be true. But I’d been in love with him since I was fifteen and the nebula of emotions I had went way passed “the obvious” attraction we had both felt that morning. I wanted all of him. Forever. And that would never happen. 

I sighed. “Simon, you’re the prince.”

“No. Not really.”

I looked up at him in surprise. “You have an older brother I don’t know about?”

Simon laughed and shook his head. “Baz, we both know you’re the real prince.”

“No, Simon. Not anymore.”

“Well you should be.”

“Don’t let your father hear you say that.”

His face crinkled in annoyance. He stepped closer, his expression earnest. “I think we need each other. We’re the same, you and I.”

I laughed at that. It was an ugly sound that tore quick and loud from my throat. “We’re not the same. Everything I had was torn from me. My world was destroyed by your father eighteen years ago and than he took me from what we tried to build in the wreckage. I have a family, Simon! I haven’t seen them in seven years! I’m a glorified prisoner. You’re a prince!”

I caught my breath from my unexpected outburst. My throat burned and I felt tears in my eyes and it made me more angry. Simon face was open with surprise and pain. I pushed him away from me. “Kisses don’t change anything. You’re the enemy. You always have been and you always will be.”

Simon pressed forward and grabbed my wrists. “No. No, Baz, I don’t want to be. I’m not. I’m sorry for what you’ve lost. I wish I could give it back to you.”

“And you think kissing is going to make it all better?” I hissed. “You’ve always thought we could be friends but we can’t!”

“Baz-“

“To love you would be to betray my family!” I froze. I hadn’t meant to shout that. 

“To love me?” Simon whispered. 

“That’s not what I meant-“. His face was too close. I wanted him to leave but I desperately wanted him to stay. 

“Baz,” He reached up and touched my face. “Please.” His fingers brushed the tears on my face that I didn’t want. “You don’t have to be alone.” 

Then he kissed me. Again. And I let him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of feels here. This is different than how I originally intended but I lost my last version and am trying to rewrite it. Next chapter will be up in a few days.

SIMON 

Baz was crying. I’d never seen that before and I never wanted to again. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling. It felt like too much but also not enough. I wanted Baz. I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything. I tried to tell him that in my kiss. He let me but for only a few seconds before he pushed me away again. 

He looked at me coldly, the tears frozen over. 

“King Davy has requested your presence, your highness. It would be unwise to keep him waiting.” 

“Baz, please-“

“Excuse me, your highness.” Baz bowed low, as elegant as ever. Baz had never bowed before. He didn’t even spare me another glance before he was gone. 

For a moment I couldn’t breathe. How was I such an idiot? How had I never realized? How many years had I been in love with him and was too thick to realize? Then I went and ruined it by being too overbearing. Or maybe there had never been a chance. Maybe Baz was right and we were enemies and that would never change. Maybe that’s why I’d never let myself think about it before because I knew it was pointless. It would just hurt. It would hurt like it does now. 

“Simon?” Penny peeked around the bookshelves to where I stood frozen. “You alright?”

“I hate it here, Penny,” I finally said softly.

She stepped close and hugged me. “I know, love.” 

“It’s killing me.”

“No no. Shhhh. Don’t talk like that, Si. Things will get better.”

“They’ve never gotten better.” 

“One day...when you’re king...”

I snorted. “I’d be a terrible king.”

“Better than your father,” she breathed. 

I looked into her face. Penny was my one and only. No one had ever been there for me like Penny. No one loved me like Penny. 

“Run away with me.”

Surprise passed her face and then melted into pity. “Oh...Simon... we can’t. You know we can’t. I couldn’t ever leave my family. And where on earth would we go?”

I shrugged. 

Penny took my hand and led me towards the door. “Come on. You haven’t eaten.” 

I followed because it was another excuse to prolong meeting with my father. 

BAZ

I rushed out of the library, ignoring Penny calling to me. I went to the one place I knew no one would ever go. The catacombs. Where my family for centuries had been laid to rest. I’m not sure if my mother is really down there or if it’s simply where her body would’ve gone. I couldn’t imagine Davy being human enough to bury my mother after he’d murdered her. 

It didn’t matter. It was as close as I could be to her. I crumpled by her name plaque and began to sob. I hadn’t cried in years but here I found I couldn’t stop. 

“Mother, I love him.” I finally said it out loud. “I love Simon. I love him more than I ever thought I could but I’m so damn scared.”

I brushed my fingers over her name. 

“What do I do? What if I lose? If I let myself have him and then lose him I don’t think I could bear it.”

But I could barely stand not having him. And, damn it, I wanted him! I wanted him to hold me and kiss me and pretend that everything could be fine. Maybe it would last a week or months but I’d finally know what it would be like to really, truly love Simon. Did it matter if it killed me when he’d leave me behind? I probably was going to die anyway. Davy wouldn’t keep me around forever. Honestly, I’m surprised I lasted this long. 

I closed my eyes and remembered that morning: curled up under Simon’s warm body, his lips firm and wonderful against mine, the hot press of his arousal. The memory made me shiver. How much of that would he give me? 

For a moment, I wished I had Simon’s magic. I wish I could let it go and blow up. But I didn’t want to destroy. I wanted more than the small satisfaction of breaking things. I was tired of listening to myself break. I swallowed all my feelings down but the ones I wanted. The ones for Simon. 

I was tired of ignoring them or pretending they weren’t there. For years I’d been hiding them. Why? So Simon wouldn’t know because he’d just hate me more. But he didn’t hate me. At least he said he didn’t. So why not? I was self destructing anyway. 

I sat up and wiped my face. Damn it. Why not? I was being a coward. May as well get what I can while I can have it. I scrambled to my feet. I had an apology to come up with. I needed to find Simon. 

SIMON

Father glared at me as I slipped in his office. 

“I called for you an hour ago.”

“Sorry, father.”

“You have to do better than this, Simon. Look at you. You’re a mess. Why didn’t my servant dress you?”

“I sent him away before he could. I can dress myself.”

Father snorted. “Obviously not. Oh well. No time now. I need you to sign these letters.”

“What are they for?”

“They are apology letters to the King of Wellbelove and Princess Agatha. Hopefully to start smoothing things over.”

I didn’t want to marry Agatha but I held my tongue. I leaned over father’s desk and signed. 

“What is that?”

I looked up and paused at my father’s face. He had gone still and pale. I followed his gaze and cold dread washed over me. My mother’s portrait poked out of my pocket. 

“It’s nothing,” I said quickly, covering it with my hand. 

“Give it to me.”

“Father, please...”. I stepped back and Davy stood. “It’s all I have.”

“Give it to me, Simon.” 

I clutched it to my chest and mutely shook my head. For such a big man, my father was fast. He was on me in a moment and my ears echoed from his slap. He ripped the portrait from my hands and strode to the fire. 

“No!” I scrambled after him and dived into the flames for my mother. Davy grabbed my hair and yanked me back, tossing me behind him. I held my burned hands up and sobbed. Father’s fist came across my face and I gasped in pain. 

“Stop sniveling, you pathetic child. Get up. You need to stop this, Simon. Your mother is dead and you need to grow up. I have a role for you in my kingdom and I’ll not have you mess everything up. Now get out!”

He hauled me to my feet and pushed me toward the door. Sobbing, I flung myself blindly into the hallway. 

BAZ

I hurried to the library but Simon wasn’t there. Davy’s office then. Penny stopped me at the door. 

“Why are you such an asshole? I thought you were in love with him?”

“I am.”

“So you thought breaking his heart was a good plan?”

“I have more to lose than he does.”

“He has nothing to lose. Simon is miserable. The last thing he needs is you to make things worse.”

“I know. I’m going to change that. Tell me where he is.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Yes.”

“About bloody time. I left him at the King’s study.”

I hurried to leave but she caught my sleeve. “Baz. If you hurt him I will make you regret it.”

I nodded. He has more power to hurt me than anything anyway. I practically ran to Davy’s office. The door was shut and I began to pace but heard a cry from inside. It was Simon. Was Davy hurting him again? I started for the door as I heard Davy’s voice rising but before I opened it Simon came hurtling out. I caught him in my arms and he sagged against me, sobbing. I dragged him away and into a quiet, empty room. 

“Simon. Simon, what did he do? Are you hurt?”

“He burned her!” He wailed. “He threw her in the fire!” I noticed his burned hands then. Gently taking them in mine, I muttered a few healing spells. When the red faded to pink I lifted his face and made him look me in the eye. 

“Simon, I don’t understand. What has Davy done?”

“My mother’s portrait. He burned it.”

I smoothed the pad of my thumb over his bottom lip. He seemed to finally look at me. 

“Baz? What are you doing here? I thought-“

“I changed my mind.”

“What?”

To make myself as clear as possible, I cupped Simon’s face and kissed him roughly. I sucked his bottom lip in and licked over it and then pushed into him. Simon let me maneuver him against a wall and press against him. 

“I want you, Simon.”

SIMON 

Baz pressed me against the wall and my brain started to catch up. 

“I want you, Simon.”

I gasped against his mouth and he took advantage of my parted lips. He pushed a knee between my thighs and I grunted in surprise and pleasure. 

“I don’t care if this last tonight or two weeks or two years. I want whatever you’re willing to give me for however long you’ll let me.” 

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his mouth back against mine. “Everything. Forever,” I sighed into his mouth. This kiss roared into something we hadn’t share yet. The other had been soft, tentative, and explorative. This kiss was hungry and demanding. It was doing weird things to my stomach. Baz licked into my mouth and pressed harder between my legs. I moaned. 

“Baz,” I managed to gasp. “Bedroom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut in next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexual tension unleashed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is about to earn its rating. ;)

BAZ

We crashed into the room and Simon kicked the door shut and slammed me against it. His lips were fierce on mine. I moaned and dug my fingers into his curls. He must have liked that because he growled and pulled me closer. When our lips finally parted I gasped, “Did you really mean everything?”

“What?”

I put my mouth against his ear. “Are you going to give me everything?” 

A shiver ran up him and he grabbed handfuls of my shirt, using them to pull me towards his bed and tossed me on it. 

“Yes. Everything.” He crawled over me and pushed my shirt up. I jerked in surprise when Simon’s mouth clamped over skin on my stomach. He sucked and bit his way up my torso and it was honestly the best thing I’d ever experienced. I buried my fingers tightly in his hair. 

“Simon.”

He sat up and yanked my shirt off, tossing it aside and then claimed my lips. When he sat back again he stared. I blushed. 

“Beautiful, Baz. So beautiful.”

I reached out to him and tugged on his shirt. 

“Off,” I demanded. Simon chuckled and tossed his aside as well. I drank him in and he smiled darkly. His hands toyed with the fastenings of my trousers. 

“Can I, Baz? Please.”

I nodded and Simon’s hand dove in. I cried out as he clenched down on my cock. He rubbed and stroked and it was wonderful and overwhelming. Simon began kissing me again, panting heavily into my mouth. 

“Fuck. Baz. I want you so bad.”

“Please. Simon.”

He pulled his hand out long enough to yank my trousers down and before I knew what was happening my eyes were rolling back as he took me in his mouth. 

“Ah. Fuck.”

Simon hummed his approval and I knew I wasn’t going to last long. He pulled back, sucking, his tongue flicking against the tip and I whimpered. 

“Simon. I’m gonna cum. Nnng.”

He sat up, his hand pumping my cock, and watched with wide eyes. I arched my back into the blissful pain and exploded. Everything dissolved into white. 

SIMON 

Baz was flushed red from his neck to his cock. His hair was a mess against my bed and his back arched beautifully as he came, spraying my hand and his smooth belly. It was the most erotic thing I’d ever seen. 

My own aching cock finally gave in at the sight and I came in my pants. I was too enthralled to be embarrassed. 

I pumped Baz’s cock till he grabbed my wrist with a whimper. He fell back, breathing hard. 

“Holy fucking shit!” He said. “Where the hell did that come from?”

I blushed. “I got excited. Sorry.”

Baz grinned at me. “I’m not complaining, highness.”

I frowned and he laughed. “You need a hand finishing?” 

I blushed more and shook my head. 

“Did you already...?”

I nodded. He laughed again and pulled me down beside him. 

“Take your pants off, Simon.”

Blushing hard, I kicked them off, using them to wipe us both clean before throwing them to the floor. 

After laying in silence, Baz chuckled. “That was amazing. Better than I imagined.”

“You’ve thought about this?”

“So many times.”

“Have you....have you done this before?”

He shook his head. “Have you?”

“No. I never wanted to...until now.”

After a pause Baz softly said, “I’ve only ever wanted to with you.”

I smiled at him and sat up. He perked up, a worried look on his face. 

“Are you leaving?”

“Do you want me to?”

“No.”

“Then I’m not.”

He lay back smiling. “Good because I haven’t gotten to touch you yet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Simon would be the more dominant one during sex. He’s more use to letting his instincts take over and Baz is use to hiding. So I’ve always thought that when Simon gets turned on he just goes for it and is embarrassed later but Baz loves it cuz then he doesn’t have to feel insecure about asking for what he wants. Idk. Just my thoughts that I used in this au.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Baz take their relationship further. It’s a drawn out version of their first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I got distracted writing other stuff.

BAZ

“Baz. Oh my - ah! Nnnnn.”

Simon’s fingers clenched my hips. I sat straddled over him, our cocks making delicious friction. Simon’s face was red and his mouth open. I don’t think I’d ever get enough of his sounds. 

“Feel good, Simon?” I smirked. 

“Merlin yes! Fuck. Baz!”

I wrapped my hand around us both and chased our finish. Simon came first, his hips bucking up beneath me. I watched in awe as his cum covered my hand and his stomach. I threw my head back and followed with a moan. 

I collapsed on his chest, not caring about the mess between us. We panted for a moment, willing our hearts to calm down. Simon’s fingers went to my hair and I nearly purred as he started stoking. 

“Baz? How is this happening? I thought...I thought you hated me.”

“I’ve never hated you, Simon.” I kissed his neck to emphasize. “I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

“...but you were...always so...”

I sat up to look him in the face. “Awful. Horrid. Absolutely dreadful,” I finished for him.”

“Well...yeah.”

“I didn’t want you to know how...how I felt. I was terrified of what would happen if you knew.”

“We could’ve been friends.”

I smiled sadly and shook my head. “I could never be only friends with you.”

Simon rolled us over and kissed me. I sighed happily. 

“We could’ve been like this.”

I reached around him and traced his spine with my fingertips. He shivered. 

“I never believed this would happen.”

“Oh it’s happening.” 

I sniggered but he reached to cup my face and kissed me again. It was like the kiss from this morning, tender but hungry. I melted. I was so damn in love with this boy. 

SIMON 

I felt so good. From my ears to my fingertips to my toes I tingled deliciously. I still craved Baz. I needed more and more of him. I started to rub against him and he moaned against my lips. 

“Simon, I want more,” he begged. 

I pressed in harder. 

“No. I want...I want you inside me.”

I pushed up to look in his face. “Can we do that?” 

He nodded. “If you want to.”

I kissed him again. “Anything. Everything.”

He wiggled underneath me and pushed me away. I frowned. “What? Where are you going?”

“I need to get something.”

I watched his naked self walk to his side of the room. He was so beautiful. It was kind of driving me crazy. He bent to get something, wiggling his ass. I groaned. “You’re doing that on purpose.”

He laughed and came back, holding a small container in his hands. 

“What is it?”

He was blushing. “It’s a lubricant. It will help you ah to ah fit.” 

I blushed as well. He knew a lot more about this than I did. I grabbed him and pulled him close. 

“You’ll have to show me what to do.”

He placed a sweet kiss on my lips and nodded. Baz laid back on the bed. 

“I’ll have to ah get myself ah ready. Y-you know so you um can fit.”

I nodded and then my jaw dropped as I watched him slick his fingers, raise his legs, and stick a finger in his asshole. 

“Holy shit, Baz.”

BAZ 

Simon was watching me finger myself. I was mortified but also crazy turned on. I heard him moan and chanced a look. He sat back on his heels, his cock in his hand, and a hungry look on his face. It made me moan. I added a second finger. I needed this so bad. 

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was in Simon’s bed. Naked. And we’d already fulfilled two of my fantasies. And now I was preparing myself for another one. Prince Simon’s cock was going to be inside me. Holy fuck, Simon was going to fuck me. My hole clenched at the thought and I moaned. 

“Merlin, Baz. Look at you,” Simon whispered. He shifted on the bed and laid himself on his stomach, his hands pushed my legs open more, and he stared heatedly at my opening hole. “Baz? Can I do it? Baz?”

I gasped and nodded. Simon slicked his fingers and pressed two at my entrance. I grunted as he slid in. His fingers were bigger than mine. It felt amazing. Without any prompting he began moving his fingers, exploring inside me. He kissed my ass and murmured how perfect I was. 

“Another!” I gasped.

He kissed my thigh. “What do you say, Baz?”

I growled and pushed onto his fingers. 

“What do you say?”

“Please, Simon! Merlin please!”

“Please what?”

“Gah! I hate you! Add another finger damn it!”

Simon snickered and pressed in three digits. I cried out. Holy fucking shit! It never felt this good when I did it.

“Simon, lay on your back again,” I demanded, breathily. 

This was happening and now. I climbed over him and positioned his cock at my entrance. I pushed down with a loud whine. He was bigger than three fingers. His hands clenched my thighs hard. 

“Baz. Shit.”

It took me a while but finally I was fully seated on Simon’s cock. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped. He felt so huge inside me. His fingers massaged my hips.

“Baz,” I heard him say, “We don’t have to do this yet.”

“No-o,” I whined. “Wanna.”

He shifted slightly below me and I hissed, unintentionally clenching down. Simon grunted. 

SIMON 

Baz’s face was scrunched tight. He felt amazing around me but I couldn’t help but see the pain in his face. 

“Baz. Please. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He whined again but slowly pulled off. He fell beside me, panting, his face shined with sweat. I pushed him gently so that he rolled over then I went for his ass. I massaged the soft cheeks. He was perfectly smooth and I hummed as I spread him open and gazed down at his red hole. I rubbed a finger around it and Baz bucked beneath me. 

“I’m gonna make it feel better, Baz,” I cooed and then bent down and rubbed my tongue over his entrance. He gasped and pushed into my mouth. 

I ravaged his ass. I licked and sucked, driven on by Baz’s whines and moans. I pushed a couple fingers back in when he begged for them. Soon it was three and Baz’s whole body was quivering. 

“Simon, try again. I’m ready now. Try again,” he breathed, urgently. 

“Baz...”

“Lay behind me. Please, Simon, I’m ready.”

I did as he said, pressing my chest against his back. He propped his leg up and reached behind, gripping me and guiding me into him. I pushed in easily and we both moaned at the sensation. 

“Yes,” Baz moaned. “Ah Simon. Fuck me. Please fuck me.”

BAZ 

This time the pain subsided quickly. I pushed back on the hard cock inside me and moaned in pleasure. Simon slowly pushed in and pulled out. He breathed heavily on the back of my neck. 

“More, Simon,” I begged. “Faster.”

His grip on my hip tightened and he moved faster. It took my breath away. 

“Baz,” he grunted. “I’m not gonna last. Fuck. You feel so good.”

I wrapped my arm back around him and started working my cock. 

“It’s okay. I’m close too. I want it inside me. Cum inside.”

Simon whimpered at my words and jerked faster. 

“Baz. Baz. Oh I’m coming! Baz!”

Simon pulled me close, pushing in as far as he could and stilled. I felt him pulse inside and I gasped at the heat that flooded me. Simon pulled my face back to kiss me and I came in my hand.

We panted and Simon nuzzled my neck and ear.

“I love you,” he breathed. I froze but he held me tighter. “I do, Baz. I love you.”

I blinked back tears and gripped his hands. 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s just assumed Baz had already cleaned himself. He knows he’s gay and wants to be prepared. Yeah? Also no protection for these guys but they’re both virgins. Safe sex is important this is just fan fiction. Please be safe people.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not ready to move to sad parts so more fluff. Sorry this takes so long. Writing is harder than plotting but your kind comments inspire me. ;)

SNOW 

I woke up smiling. I’d never felt so euphoric. I was in Baz’s bed (we’d moved to his bed to sleep) and in his arms. We’d had sex, like a lot of sex, and it had been amazing. He had said he loved me. 

We were facing each other; legs intertwined, arms embracing, and his beautiful face barely an inch from mine. He was so beautiful and I was crazy in love. I brushed his long, dark hair from his face and grinned as he shifted and moaned sleepily. I kissed his nose because I could and he flapped a hand at me, rolling onto his back. So I kissed his cheek. 

“Stahp...” He grumbled and I laughed. 

“Mmm but you taste good,” I mumbled as I kissed his face again. Baz growled and then pounced on me, shoving me back into my pillow. He straddled my hips and bent to kiss me hard. It was an aggressive kiss and I clung to his bare thighs and let him sweep me away. I don’t know how long he kissed me, the feel and taste of him had no time limit, and when he pulled away I was light headed. 

“Wow.”

Baz smirked and left the bed. I whined and reached for him. 

“No wait! Why?! I thought that was the prelude!”

Baz kept moving away and I tried to comfort myself by staring at his ass. 

“We cannot stay in bed all morning, Simon.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause we were in here all last night and we weren’t exactly subtle in the hallways. People are going to get suspicious. We can’t be reckless.”

“People don’t care,” I pouted. He turned and looked at me seriously. 

“You’re telling me if your father knew about what we were up to last night he wouldn’t care?”

I paled at the thought. 

“Exactly. Now get out of bed. We have to show our faces and act like nothing has changed.”

I grabbed my trousers but frowned when I realized they had dried cum on them. Baz started brushing his hair and I sat back on the bed to watch. I couldn’t believe how beautiful he was. I loved his hair, his face, his eyes. I especially loved his shoulders and the way they curved down to his back and then rounded out to his butt. His form was perfect. 

“But...things have changed right?” I asked, needing to know he had meant the words he’d said last night. Baz slowly set his brush down. 

“Do you want things to change?”

I hurried to stand behind him and traced his shoulder bones. “Of course I do. I want last night forever. All of it again and again.”

I kissed his shoulder and he shivered. “You’re so insanely gorgeous, Baz.” I kissed his neck. “It’s almost maddening.” 

“Jealous,” he hummed as I moved to kiss the underside of his jaw. 

“A little. I look like a drowned puppy next to you.”

He snorted and I slid my hands up over his shoulders and down his chest. He shivered again as I brushed past his nipples, so pink and rosy. “But then again, I get to look at you like this so who’s the real winner here?” I kissed his cheek and then gently bit his ear. He gasped softly. I slipped my hand down further, reaching for his cock. I’d never considered what anyone else’s penis might look like but Baz’s was just as beautiful as the rest of him; pale, slim, pink. I’d almost gotten where I wanted when Baz stopped me. 

“Simon. I said not this morning.”

I was pleased that he sounded a little breathless. I pouted into his neck. He gave my hand a squeeze. 

“Just wait until tonight.”

“Ok. Baz?”

“Yes, Simon.”

“Last night you said you loved me.”

“You said the same.”

“I do love you. I love you, Baz.”

“I love you, too.”

BAZ 

I barely made it out. My head was swirling with how fast things had changed. Who would have guessed that Simon would be so confident in bed? Every cell in my body buzzed after what he did to me and demanded I go back right now and finish what we started but I knew if I did that we’d probably miss the rest of the day. My self control was thin as it was. And I had plans - things to do! - today. 

I rushed to the solarium as I replayed that morning and the night before in my head. Everything had been better than I could have hope so why did I still feel a panic gripping my lungs. Simon had said he’d loved me twice and both times he’d said it first. So why was I still terrified it was all just a game? Or a dream? 

I tried to shake off the alarming feelings and focused on what I had planned. I gathered up my art supplies and set up everything I needed. I knew this wouldn’t be perfect but it was the thought that counted right? I began sketching and did my best to remember exactly how Simon’s mother had looked in his portrait before it had been burned. 

It took me most of the day and it looked more like Simon but a girl version of Simon. I’d made it with love. Hopefully it will work

SIMON 

After Baz left I washed and dressed and headed for Penny. I grinned as soon as she looked up at me. I couldn’t help it. My whole body felt like grinning. She rolled her eyes. 

“Guessing by that pleased look, Baz found you yesterday. Did he finally confess how hopelessly in love he is with you?”

“More or less.” My grin widened. “Mostly more.”

Penny raised an eyebrow. “You disappeared for the night?”

“We did.” 

“Moving fast, aren’t we?”

I fell into a big armchair beside her with a happy sigh. “Judge me all you want. Nothing can ruin my good mood. Last night was the best night of my life.”

Penny was quiet for a minute and then shocked me with her next question. “Please tell me, Simon, that Baz isn’t just a new *fun* pastime?”

I shot up and gaped at her. “How could you possibly think that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because as of three days ago you and Baz hated each other and here you are looking extremely smug after I assume you and Baz had sex. I worried about him hurting you but now I’m worried for him. I think he really does love you, you know.”

“And I love him.”

“Do you?”

“Yes! I think I always have. From the moment I saw him I knew he was special. He was brave and strong. He was elegant and beautiful and everything a prince ought to be. He didn’t deserve to be here as anything less. What my father did to him was dreadful! He should be king next. Not me. All I want is to be close to him. To hold him. To love him. To soak up whatever goodness I can get from him. I don’t feel empty inside when he’s with me. Even before when he made me so angry I thought I’d pop. I was always more when he was around. And it’s even better now. Have you ever seen him smile, Pen? I mean really smile? It’s breath taking. And he laughs. It’s the best sound ever. And the way he holds on to me, it’s like he’ll never let go, and I don’t want him to ever. I love him. I love him so much it’s like I’ve never been empty before. Now I’m too full. It’s like...like...”

Penny was laughing. I stopped and frowned at her. 

“Oh Simon I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. Of course you love him. You’re too pure to use anyone. I’m sorry I just had to be sure.” She hugged me. “I’m happy if you’re happy.”

“I am happy. I’ve never felt like this.”

She sat back down and smiled at me. “Baz laughing huh? You made him laugh?”

“I did. A few times actually.”

“Who would believe it? But my mother always did say Baz was a happy child.”

“Your mother knew Baz?”

“She worked here before...she was Queen Natasha’s head scholar. She loved Baz’s mother very much. She still helps their family whenever she can.”

“Your mother is in contact with Baz’s family?”

“Yes. You sound surprised?”

“Well, I just never knew. Penny? Do you-do you think if Baz wrote a letter you might be able to get it to his family?”

Penny looked wary. “I don’t know, Simon. If your father found out - that could spell trouble for all of us.”

“We could be careful. I know Baz misses his family. It would mean a lot.”

“We can try. But Simon we have to be very and I mean very discreet.”

“Yes. Yes of course. Thank you, Penny. Thank you.”

BAZ

I felt stupid. Now I that I had finished the drawing I was rethinking my whole plan. After last night, I just wanted to do something special for Simon because I’m stupidly romantic in my stupidly pathetic heart. I knew how special that portrait was because I would kill to have one of my mother and I knew how much losing it had hurt. I had distracted him plenty but he would miss her still. 

So I had left the warmth of him to try to recreate the face I only saw for a moment. A face which I’m sure I had butchered. And now I soaked in a bath pouting and fretting about it. 

I nearly jumped out of the water as Simon burst into the room.

“Merlin’s beard, Simon! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

Simon just grinned at me. “I have a surprise for you.” He announced and began shedding his clothes. 

“What are you doing?”

“Joining you,” he answered, as if getting naked in a bath with me was something we always did. 

I stared. I couldn’t help it. I’d been fantasizing about this boy for years. Simon was shorter than me but he seemed bigger. His shoulders were broader and his arms thicker. He had pale hair curling on his chest and down into a perfect trail to his dick. I gulped as he moved closer and stepped in. He sat down then leaned over and kissed me. I kissed back because of course. 

Once again he was touching me and once again nothing else mattered. 

“I missed you today,” he murmured against my mouth. 

“Was your surprise you getting naked? ‘Cause I saw all that last night.”

“It’s still shocking though, right?”

“Positively alarming.”

We kissed more and I positioned myself firmly on his lap. Finally Simon pulled back and beamed at me. 

“Baz, Penny said she could get a letter to your family. Possibly even a reply.”

I gaped at him. “What?”

“You can write your family.”

“Simon, that’s...”. It was wonderful. If I could hear from my family, to know they’re alright, that would be a miracle. I felt tears prick at my eyes. “That’s...that would be wonderful.”

He looked so pleased with himself that I kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I haven’t really done anything magical with Simon or addresses Baz as a vampire. I might go back and make some edits.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon and Baz are fluffy (and smutty). Penny finds something out. And Davy plots.

SIMON

The way Baz kissed. I couldn’t even. It was like full factory shut down. 

I slid my hands over him and held onto his butt. He chuckled against my lips. 

“Who would’ve guessed that awkward Prince Simon would be so confident in bed?”

I blushed. “Sorry. I just-“

He cut me off with a quick nip on my chin. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it.” He took my hands that I had moved and placed them back onto his bum. My hands moved on their own accord and Baz sighed happily into my neck. 

“I hung around the library hoping to see you,” I said. “You didn’t come at all. Where else do you go?”

“I was in the solarium.”

“All day? Do you just stare at the plants?”

“It has the best light. I was drawing.”

“I didn’t know you drew.”

“There’s lots you don’t know, Simon.”

I pinched his bum and he yelped. He glared at me and I pouted. “You’re not allowed to insult me anymore.”

Baz raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to help myself, highness.”

I flinched and pulled away. 

“Simon, don’t. I’m sorry. I was just teasing. I-I-I love you.”

The words stumbled out as if hard to say but he leaned forward and kissed me again. I really wanted to believe those words. 

“Promise.”

“Yes. With all my heart.”

BAZ

Ugh. What was coming out of my mouth? What was I - a romance novel? But Simon’s eyes glowed so I’d say it again if he wanted me to. Plus I meant it. I never wanted to hurt Simon ever again. This might be a good time for the portrait.

“I actually was working on something for you,” I mumbled, unable to look him in the eyes, because I was actually blushing. Blushing! 

He smiled. “You drew me something? Baz, that’s...adorable.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “If I can’t use my clever wit to insult you then you are not allowed to refer to me as adorable.”

He just giggled and kissed my nose. “Can I see it?”

I stepped out of the bath and leaned to grab the towel. I heard Simon splash behind me and then his hands wrapped around my hips. He pressed his lips against my lower back. His lips trailed up my spine as he stood. I arched and by the time his mouth reached my neck I was leaning back into him, my head on his shoulder. I pulled his arms completely around me and sighed. We stood like that for a good while - just holding each other. I think we both needed the reassurance that the other was there. 

Once I started shivering we dried off and wrapped our blankets around us. Simon seemed personally offended that I would even try to put clothes on. He had me in his lap when I finally handed him the thick paper I had used. He unfolded it and gasped. 

“Baz...it’s...”

He didn’t continue and I felt him shudder. I looked up and saw him crying. 

“Simon? I know it’s not the best...is it...I’m sorry. I can do it again.”

Simon squeezed me. “Baz it’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love it. I love you.” His lips kissed at my skin. “So much, Baz. So much.” 

I finally caught his mouth with mine and pushed him back on the bed. It amazed me again how our bodies fit together. We both moaned at the extra contact. His hands were everywhere. I slid down and kissed across his chest. He gasped as I bit gently on his nipple and his hands grabbed my hair. That made me groan. 

“Yes. Keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“I like your fingers in my hair.”

I felt Simon chuckle but he buried his fingers in my hair. 

“Ah...yes...now pull.”

“Like this?”

I groaned. I never let anyone touch my hair. It felt so intimate for him to be. I went back to his chest, savoring his warm taste. 

“Merlin, Baz.”

I didn’t stop. My body was overwhelmed and my need frenzied. I drew my tongue around his belly button and headed further down. Simon’s hips jerked up and I bit down on his hip bone. He hissed but held still. His cock was hard and already dribbling. I nuzzled into it. Somewhere my brain scolded me but it wasn’t loud enough to bother me. I wanted this. I needed it. 

I looked up at Simon and met his darkened eyes. Slowly, I drew my tongue along his cock and then sucked the head into my mouth. His mouth was open and his breath heaved. He tugged my hair and I shuddered in pleasure, sinking further onto his cock. Then he just watched me with wide eyes as I began to bob. I whimpered as I sucked and he responded in kind. 

“Oh fuck.”

PENNY

My heart thrummed as I turned another page and read in horror. I hadn’t told Simon where I found his mother’s portrait. He of course hadn’t asked. The book it had fallen out of was old, dusty, and had been very well hidden. There had been a few others with it but I hadn’t read those yet. Reading this one made me not want to.

I shouldn’t be surprised that the library held books on the darker magics but I was. This book wasn’t only informative but detailed in practices and spells. It obviously hadn’t been used in a long time. 

I slammed the book shut. 

Why was a picture of Simon’s mother in this book? The logical explanation made me sick. Someone had used it on her. Someone had slowly, over a course of almost a year, drained all her life from her. Someone had used her as a magical battery.

Someone had murdered Simon’s mother.

DAVY

The king stared darkly at the flames in the fireplace from his desk. Where had that boy found a picture of his mother? Had he always had it? Or had he found it recently? Had Davy missed one? 

Seeing her face had been alarming. She hadn’t been particularly beautiful, washed out and fragile, but those wide blue eyes always seemed to stare into his soul. It hadn’t been comforting. Davy still wondered if she had known there at the end. If she had let him do it. He wanted to believe that she understood his sacrifice, that it had been for a greater cause. 

But her voice haunted him. Her last words had been their son’s name. She cried out for Simon over and over as if afraid for him. She had cried for him until she was gone. 

Where had he gotten that picture?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I started realizing that I hadn’t explained the bathtub. I was kind of picturing something like in the movie Stardust, where the star bathes in the inn room behind a wooden separator. I’m imagining one of these in their room. Does that make any sense?


	10. Chapter 10

BAZ

A week passed and nothing bad had happened. It made me paranoid. I tried to convince Simon that we needed to be subtle but the idiot didn’t know what that meant. He seemed unable to keep his hands to himself and he pouted when I got mad about it. Going all day ignoring each other seemed out of the question. So to comprise I set up meeting times and places where we could see each other and Simon could be as sappy as he wanted to be. 

It wasn’t that hard. The fear of discovery, of Davy finding out and taking Simon away from me, hung over me always but when Simon cuddled against me and kissed me and held my hands and talked and laughed it was hard to feel afraid. We hid in the library most often. Concealing ourselves behind shelves and books, where no one but Penny seemed to go. She rolled her eyes at us if she caught us, mortifying me, but I knew she’d never sell out Simon. 

It was new, and nice, to sit with Simon and listen to him talk. After so many years I knew a lot about him but hearing his thoughts, the things he wanted and worried about, made him more real to me. It made it easier to share with him. It was against my nature to be open but Simon made it easy.

“You don’t even remember her?” Simon whispered. 

I shook my head. 

“I was a newborn. I’m only four months older than you.”

“Penny’s mother knew her. Maybe she has a picture. We should talk to her.”

I shook my head. “You’re father doesn’t let me leave the palace grounds.”

“Then he doesn’t have to know.”

I turned my best are-you-stupid face towards him. He scowled. 

“Fine than we’ll ask her to come here.”

“You’re relentless.”

“And you’re a jerk face.”

I laughed and pulled him close. “You can jerk on my face.” 

“Ew!” He shoved my face away and I cackled. Simon leaned back and kicked me over with his leg. I let him and lay laughing while he crawled over and sat on me. 

“Ugh. Get off. You’re heavy.”

“I am not fat!”

“Only where it counts, love.”

Simon laughed and leaned down to kiss me. “You have an incredibly dirty mind.”

“You have no idea. I’ve spent years fantasizing about you. My mind is very creative.”

“Mmmm. You’ll have to share tonight. Maybe we can make some come true.”

“Oh Prince Simon. Make all my dreams come true.”

“You’re such a dork,” he giggled. 

We made out until our clandestine break was over. Simon kissed me one last time before getting up. 

“You better think up something good for tonight,” he said with a smirk and then was gone. 

I stayed on the floor and sighed. I felt happy. I hadn’t felt that in a long time. 

“You had better not be desecrating my library,” I heard Penny say. 

I smiled. “Oh, you would know. Simon’s not very quiet when -“

“That’s all I need to hear, thanks.”

I laughed. I was doing that a lot lately. 

“Simon mentioned talking with my mother.”

“He thinks I need to learn about my mom. But I think he really just wishes he could learn about his mom.”

Penny made a weird sound that made me look up. She looked slightly pale. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing.”

I scrambled to my feet. “Sure sounds like something. Tell me.”

She looked around warily and then leaned close and whispered, “I think Simon’s mother was murdered.”

DAVY

The king looked up at the shrewish man lurking in his doorway. 

“I told you to bring me those books two hours ago.”

“I know, your Majesty, but I cannot find them.”

Davy paused. “You can’t find them?”

“I hid them just as you ask, Sire. I thought for sure they’d be safe. But...but they’re gone.”

Davy’s hands shook. “Find those books, Crafton. If you value your life, find them.”

“Of course, Sire.”

Davy waved his valet forward. “Bring my son to me. He’s wasted enough time.”

The man bowed and was gone. 

PENNY

I watched Baz’ brows arch as he looked over the book. 

“Where did you find these?” He finally asked. 

“I was cleaning out some of the back rooms. These were behind one of the shelves. Do you think I’m right?”

“Simon was born the day Davy killed my family. The day Lucy died. Davy was exceptionally powerful that night.”

Horror sunk deep in my stomach. “You think...oh Merlin...you think it was Davy?”

Baz didn’t answer but his eyes were dark. 

“Baz, if it was Davy and I’m found with these books...”

“You’re right. We need to put them back.”

“It’s a bit too late for that.”

We both whirled around at the voice. I gasped. The Master Librarian smiled darkly at us. 

“I knew I gave you too much free range, Miss Bunce. You have been very foolish.”

Baz’ hand clenched around my wrist and pushed me behind him. “We’ll give you the books,” he said. “You don’t need to hurt anyone.”

The Librarian shook his head. “I’m not taking the fall for this.”

He dove forward but Baz yanked us to the side and rammed his elbow against the man’s head. He fell with a cry and we ran for the door. 

“We need to get to the catacombs!” Baz called out. 

I nodded and ran with him. My heart pounded in my chest. What had I done? I had put my family in danger. I had put Simon and Baz in danger. I heard shouting behind us and knew the Master Librarian was coming. I whirled around and threw up a wall a flames. I heard him cry out in anger. 

“Keep running, Baz!”

We burst into the catacombs finally and Baz lead me to a certain tomb, yanking off the covering. 

“Baz!”

“It’s empty. It leads to outside. Go. Get your family and get out.”

“What about you?”

Baz shook his head. “I won’t leave Simon.”

“But he’s Davy’s son-“

“And Davy has hurt him for years and possibly killed his own wife to overthrow my family. I won’t leave Simon.”

I hesitated a moment longer. I didn’t want to leave them either. 

“Go, Penny. You need to make sure your family is safe.”

I cried out in frustration and threw my arms around Baz. He seemed startled but hugged me back. 

“You need to hurry!”

“Take care of Simon.”

“I’ll try.”

I crawled into the dark passage way and left.

SIMON

Dinner had just ended but I hadn’t seen Baz. I tried hard not to openly pout. He was probably in the library working on his lessons. Maybe I should go to the library and work on lessons. I smiled. 

“Prince Simon.”

My smile was gone in an instant. My father’s valet meant one thing - father wanted me. So much for stealing kisses in the library. 

“My father?” I asked with a sigh. 

“Yes. He would like to see you in the throne room.”

The throne room? Usually he saw me in his office. Maybe he wanted me to watch him punish some poor soul. I hauled myself up and left the dining room. I hadn’t spoken with my father since he’d burned my mother’s portrait. I didn’t want to talk to him now. I hoped Baz had come up with something good for tonight because I was going to need it. 

The throne room was a cold room. My father liked it that way. It was a place he wanted people to come and be intimidated so no warmth or welcome. My father sat on the throne and waved me forward as I came in. 

“Father.”

“Simon. The King of Welbelove has agreed to my arrangement. You will be marrying his daughter in the coming month.”

My jaw dropped. I shouldn’t be surprised. I knew that had been his plan but still...I felt blindsided. 

“But father I’m only just eighteen-“

“That is old enough to marry. This will benefit the kingdom.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You have no say if the matter, Simon. You have been shirking enough of your duties and wasting time. It’s time you did more for this kingdom.”

“Wait - father please!”

“Don’t think I don’t know what has been going on.” His voice was low but dangerous. Cold flooded through me as my father waved a hand. Two guards came through the side entrances and dragged in Baz. His face was bruised, his lip bloodied, and his clothes torn. I thought of the night I’d first seen him. Even ragged he had seemed noble but these guards shoved him to the floor and kicked him forward. 

“No,” I gasped. “Father don’t .”

My father nodded and one of the guards grabbed Baz by the hair, yanking his head back and laying his sword against his throat. I cried out and dropped to my knees. 

“No! Don’t hurt him! Please don’t hurt him!”

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t?”

“I love him! I love him! Please!”

My father just looked disgusted. “All the more reason to be rid of him. This is idiocy, Simon. You have a greater role to play than this. You think he loves you? What better way to undermine me than when the Prince’s affections?”

I looked to Baz and he met my gaze unflinchingly. My father was wrong. I forced myself back to my feet. 

“You will not hurt him. If you wish for me to seal the alliance with Wellbelove, you will not hurt him. I will fight you till the end of my days if you harm him at all. So help me, father, I swear it.”

My father mockingly laughed. “So brave of you.”

“Let him go. Send him home. You’ll know where he is if I step out of line.”

The king’s cold eyes stared me down. I was use to bending to my father’s will but I couldn’t yet. I needed Baz to be safe. Davy glanced at Baz, who was still being held by the guard. 

“Cut his face.”

“No!”

The knight gripped Baz’ face and held him still, even as he struggled. The other guard smiled sickly and slashed his sword down Baz’ face. He gasped and blood splattered. I started to cry and ran for him but my father grabbed my hair and yanked me back. The guard holding Baz did the same and I could see the cut, dipping dark red blood, running from his forehead down his cheek to his chin. 

“There goes his pretty face, Simon. You upset me in anyway, mess this wedding up at all, and you’ll miss more than his face. Do you understand?”

I nodded, tears pouring down my face.

“Answer me!”

“Yes. Yes. I understand just please let him go. Please.”

My father smiled smugly and flicked his chin towards the door. The guards dragged Baz away. Baz struggled and looked at me. 

“I love you, Simon.”

“I love you, Baz.”

My father smacked my face and when I looked back up Baz was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor, poor Baz. He’s gonna go thru a lot. Not sure if I want to actually write it out or just to allude to it. Also, new character coming up that I’m excited for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has probably extended to more chapters than 15 but only cuz the chapters keep getting longer than I thought. Let me know in the comments if you’re still enjoying the story. I need encouragement! :)

BAZ

They covered my head and knocked me out the minute we were out of the throne room. When I woke it was dark and I had no idea where I was. I knew Davy wasn’t going to send me home. Simon was naive if he believed that. He would though. Simon didn’t have enough cruelty in him to imagine the horrible things his father was capable of. Everything I had feared was coming true. You think I would be prepared but I was terrified. 

I could tell I was in some sort of room, small and squarish, with stone walls. It smelled cleaned but the floor was packed dirt covered with straw. I had no idea how long I sat there in the dark, when a door that I hadn’t felt out finally opened. I threw my hands up to shield my eyes from the light. 

“Baz.”

I slowly dropped my hands and squinted up at...

“Simon?”

He smiled at me and instead of relief I just felt confused. “Simon? How-? What-?”

He came and crouched beside me and stroked a hand over my hair. “He let me come see you, darling. He found out about your letter home. Tell me what you wrote home and he’ll make this better.”

“But Simon, you-you read the letter. I showed it to you.”

His smile shrank. “I didn’t really read it. I...uh...just looked at it.” He looked embarrassed. 

I froze. Simon had read it. He had read it out loud. 

“You...you’re not Simon.”

The fake Simon’s face twisted cruelly. It looked wrong on that face. My Simon couldn’t make that face. 

“I had hoped this would be easier,” fake Simon said, rising to his feet.

The door opened again and two armored guards came in. One carried rope and the other iron shackles. I scrambled away but fake Simon kicked me in the side and then pressed his boot into my back. 

“Now, now, Baz. This will be easier if you don’t struggle.”

The shackles were bolted around my wrist and then I was yanked up by the rope, my hands above my head. Terror flooded my body. Fake Simon smiled at my fear. 

“Why do you look like him?” I blurted. 

“Like who?”

“Simon.”

“I am Simon.”

“No you’re not.”

Fake Simon’s smile turned my stomach.

“You don’t know me very well.”

“I know the real Simon! He’s not fucking evil!”

Fake Simon laughed. “Darling, you have know idea. Let me give you a clue.”

He pressed his palm against my forehead and the last thing I remember was screaming.

Simon

Baz has been gone a week. (Penny too. She disappeared the same night Baz was taken away. I hoped she was alright. My father denied any knowledge of her.) No matter how much I ask, my father won’t tell me where he is. During my suit fitting for the wedding I tried to put my foot down, refusing to cooperate until I knew Baz was safe. My father beat me without even sending the tailors away. The next day he threw a mat of black hair at my feet. I touched it and choked back a sob when I realized there was blood on it. 

“What have you done to him!?”

“Throw one more tantrum, boy, and it’ll be his fingers I give you next.”

I was too afraid to do anything but what I was told after that. 

Agatha showed up a few days after father’s announcement. She didn’t look any happier than I about the arrangement.

“I heard about Baz,” she said softly one night after we had both performed our roles for the wedding ceremony perfectly. I stiffened immediately. 

“Were you really in love?”

I only nodded. 

“I’m very sorry.”

“Me too.”

Penny

Thanks to Baz I had gotten out of the palace and gotten to my family before the King’s guards did. But that didn’t mean I felt safe. Announcements about Simon’s wedding had been spread around and I had heard nothing about Baz. 

I had snuck back into the palace through the catacombs to retrieve the books I had hidden. I needed them now more than ever. The answer to what the king was doing was inside those books and I was going to figure it out. It was the only way I could think to help. Somehow I had to get Simon out and find Baz.

The depravity inside the spell books made me sick. It was complicated magic and hard to understand. If Davy had used the first one as Baz predicted, Davy used the spell on his own wife to bleed her magic and life out of her to power himself. Using the extra strength he had destroyed the Pitches. But had he known she was pregnant? Did Simon affect the spell? Simon had powerful magic but poor control. Could it be he had residual power from his mother?

The more I read the harder it was to piece together. It seemed as if the second book had been used to create a mirrored version of an individual. What purpose could that have? Why make such complicated magic to replicate a person but poorly? Was Davy trying to clone himself? What would a mirrored version of Davy look like? 

The third book was filled with notes on combining the two. Whoever had created the spell had seemed set on recreating an individual and then transferring their magic into the creation? Could it be that Davy wasn’t the original? Perhaps he wanted to clone himself repeatedly and rule forever? Was it some twisted way of immortality? 

It wasn’t till I reached the end that the horror really set in. Simon. The spell had been used on Simon. But which one? Either way, I believed Davy was getting ready to take Simon’s magic. 

I had to warn him. 

SIMON

The wedding was in three days. Thinking about it made me sick. It wasn’t Agatha. The last week had actually been quite revealing about us. Agatha wasn’t just some pretty princess. She was incredibly smart. And she loved her kingdom and was avidly aware of what her people did and what they suffered. She eagerly wanted to rule and was frustrated that she couldn’t. 

She had been surprised about Baz and I but thought we were cute. I appreciated the support but missed Baz terribly and was terrified that I’d never see him again. That I would never hold him again.

It was nice to know that Agatha and I understood each other but it didn’t make marrying her feel any better. 

Our room felt empty and ominous without Baz. He had always been a quiet sleeper but his physical presence had been palpable. Especially when he had slept beside me for one glorious week. 

I found it difficult it sleep without him now. At night, without wedding preparations to keep me occupied all I could do was worry about him. I always fell into a troubled sleep.

That night, I woke to soft sounds but sounds nonetheless. My sleepy mind told me it was only Baz but I shot up as I remembered Baz was gone. I heard a low curse before a body rammed me hard knocking me off my bed. The two of us crashed to the floor and I struggled to get out of the person’s grasp. Fingernails clawed at my shoulders and I opened my mouth to scream. Whoever it was rolled me onto my back, sat down hard on my stomach, slapped a hand over my mouth and slipped a knife against my neck.

“Don’t make a sound or I slit your throat,” the person growled. I blinked in disbelief. The voice sounded very much like a young girl and now that I was paying more attention she didn’t weigh much either. I knew I could toss her but the blade on my skin made me hesitate. 

“Where is my brother?” She demanded. Her hand moved off my mouth and grabbed my hair. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know who you mean,” I replied, frantic. 

She banged my head. “Baz,” she hissed. “What have you done with him?”

*Baz?*

Her brother was Baz. She was Baz’ sister looking for her brother who was Baz. 

“Mordelia?”

The person startled. “How do you know that?”

“Baz told me he had a fourteen year old sister. Unless you’re one of the twins but then you’re pretty big for a ten year old.”

“They’re eleven.”

“Oh right. Baz mentioned their birthday was coming up,” I wheezed. She was still sitting on my stomach. 

“Why would he tell you those things? You can’t possibly be friends?”

“More actually.”

Mordelia scoffed. “Right.”

I didn’t know how much of my face she could see. It was pretty dark and I couldn’t see her but I looked up where her face was and with more certainty then I’d ever declared anything I said, “I love your brother more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”

Mordelia fell silent. And then...

“Me too.” Her words were soft and it sounded almost as if she’d started crying. 

“I want to know where he is as much as you do but if my father catches one toe out of line Baz is dead.” 

“How can I trust you?”

“Because we can help each other. I can’t leave the palace but you seem able to come and go. You have to go find Penny Bunce. Her mother was a friend of Baz’ mother. If anyone can help it would be the Bunces. If only to tell us where to start.”

“How do I find them?”

“I only know that they live in the city outside. I...I’ve never left the palace before. My father won’t allow it.”

“I don’t like your father.”

“Honestly, neither do I.”

Mordelia got off and helped me up. “Do you think he’s alright?”

“Merlin, I hope so.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mordelia is older than the book I know but I like her this way for my purposes. She also swears a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I work full time now and don’t ride the bus for an hour everyday so my writing time is cut short. I’m hoping to finish before the end of year. Thanks for all the encouragement and support.

Mordelia 

It wasn’t hard to find Penelope Bunce. It might have been for a lesser magician but I’ve always excelled at scrying spells. I waited out in the shadows counting the seconds as she approached. She rounded the bend, her hair over her face and her nose in a book. She’s prettier than what I had expected for someone famed as a bookworm. 

Quietly, I tailed her, knowing that she’d eventually enter a darkened alley. I sent out a binding spell as soon as we were sheltered by walls. Bunce froze. 

“I’m looking for Basilton Grimm-Pitch. I need your help finding him.”

I hated asking. I should’ve been able to find him myself. 

“How do you know I can help?”

“I was given your name by a good authority.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. So I need your help.”

I didn’t expect the icy blast that crashed into me. 

Penny

My waylayer slammed into the alley wall and I instantly followed with my own binding charm. The girl blocked it impressively already getting her feet back under her. 

“Fuck it all!” She shouted and immediately starts hurling fireballs. I turn them to ice before they hit and they shatter on the ground. 

“If you wanted help you could just ask!” I yelled. “Is all this really necessary?!”

“I fucking asked!” The girl kicks a leg off the wall and I gasped as she backflipped and dowsed me with water while hurling over my head. 

“After you spell bound me!” I clutched at the water she created and ripped it from her. I bound it to my hands and flung it towards her like whips. She shrieked as it hit and retaliated with lightening. It was my turn to shriek as a shock went through my body. I released the water and dragged a stone from the wall. She barely dodged and lost her balance. 

“Bitch,” she snarled and kicked her legs, propelling herself up to her feet. I froze her in ice before she casts anything else.

“What do you want with Baz?”

But then I could see her and the question was unnecessary. “Merlin’s beard. You’re Baz’s sister.”

She glared and the ice around her shattered. “How the fuck does everyone know that?”

“Well, for starters you look just like him and the same arrogance ripples off you.”

The girl lifted angry hands but I waved her down.

“Oh come on. Enough of that. I’ll help you find Baz. In fact, I’ve already been looking for him. He saved my life. I owe him.”

“The fuck? The prince is in love with Baz and Baz saved your life? What the hell? I thought he was a hostage?”

“He still has friends. Were you expecting him to be chained up in a dungeon?”

“Yes, actually.”

I sobered. “For all I know he is now.”

“What’s his face didn’t know shit either. What the fu-“

“Can you stop swearing for like two seconds?”

She smirked a classic Baz smirk and flipped me off. I sighed. 

Simon

Baz’s sister had left right after I told her where to go about looking for Penny. She’d been gone two days now. The wedding was tomorrow! I sat on my bed and waited for her to come back. I didn’t even know if she would. For all I knew they’d go save Baz without me. Or maybe she hadn’t been able to find Penny. Maybe Baz was already dead and it didn’t matter. 

That thought made my chest tighten. What if he was dead? What if my father had killed him? What if I never saw him again? I started to cry again, surprised I still could. Terrible thoughts swirled in my mind. Even if he wasn’t dead what would be happening to him. They sliced his face open. My stomach shifted as I remembered the splattered blood and split flesh. 

Panic and anxiety filled me. I had to find him! I had to find out where father was keeping him! I rushed to the door and threw it open, readying to demand the guard my father had posted at my door to take me to the king. I froze. 

“Hello.” Penny pressed her lips in a thin, anxious smile. 

I looked down and saw Baz’s sister sitting on the guard, her legs wrapped around his throat. “Let’s get out of the hall, yeah?”

“Do you know where he is?” I breathed, as I pulled them in.

Penny shook her head. “We’ve both tried scrying but his location must be blocked. All we can agree on is that he’s alive.”

My knees almost buckle in relief. “How are we going to find him?”

“We need something of his. Maybe that will help.”

Mordelia was already rummaging through drawers. 

“Um. Those are my things. Baz sleeps over there.”

Mordelia looked unimpressed but moved to the other side of the room. “Why in Merlin’s name is Baz sleeping in the same fucking room as you? I thought he was a bloody prisoner.”

“A royal prisoner,” Penny said. 

“So he’s glorified.” Mordelia whipped around. “Wait. He’s been living in the same room as you for seven years and he didn’t just put a dagger through your heart!?”

“Uuuuhh...” 

“For the love of!” Penny threw her her hands up. “What is wrong with you?”

“What?”

“You have a serious cursing problem and you are unreasonably violent.”

“Unreasonably?”

“I said distract the guard and you put him in a head lock - with your legs! - and choked him out.”

“And he was very distracted. Now we’re in Simon’s room and no one knows we’re here. Plan success!”

“You’re mad.”

“Obviously. I’m fucking fourteen.”

“Will you stop swearing?”

“Fuck no.”

Penny growled and I decided it was a good time to step between them.

“Whoa. I think we have bigger stuff to worry about. Like saving Baz.”

Mordelia raised an eyebrow but nodded. “Right. Bookworm, what you need for that spell?”

Penny glared. “We need something that means a lot to him. Something he may have...imbued with his...essence.”

Mordelia held up three brushes. “His beauty regime? Obviously he loved his hair. We could use a few strands of these.”

“He does have great hair,” I offered. 

Mordelia rolled her eyes. “Ok. Let’s fucking do this thing.”


	13. Chapter 13

Baz

They never gave me any light. I didn’t ever know what time or what day it was. Fake Simon’s (who I decided to call Fimon) “visits” varied. When he came he burst in, holding a lantern up and burning my eyes. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted. I think just to make me miserable. 

Some visits he just mocked me, some he’d hurt me, and some he’d...touch me. Those were the worse. He’d do some sort of spell to bind me in place and then he’d run his hands over me. The most disturbing part: sometimes he was so gentle and earnest it was hard to remember he wasn’t the real Simon. My Simon. There were times when he’d look at me like my Simon had and pressed his lips against mine. After a seemingly eternity in the dark and in the cold, his burning fingers felt...good -comforting- and even though I knew he wasn’t, I would pretend it was my Simon. 

But before my fantasy would go too far he would do something so un-Simonlike that I’d be jarred back to reality. Maybe he’d whisper something cruel or profane. Or suddenly pull back and slap me. He often mocked my face, now poorly bandaged and sure to scar horribly. Once he grabbed my hair and before I could even cry out he cut it off.

Those moments were so unsettling that I preferred the torture; the cuts and slaps and burning magic. It made it easier to convince myself that it wasn’t Simon. That he was fake. It was getting harder and harder to believe because he never confessed he wasn’t Simon. I couldn’t help the thoughts that said maybe Simon had been in on it all along. That maybe it had been too good to be true and he had used me for his pleasure and amusement only to hand me over to his father. It better matched my cynical nature but my newly weakened heart wouldn’t -couldn’t- accept that. 

It would rather believe that there was an evil copy of Simon. A perfect copy. That carried Simon’s magic. And smell. And voice. 

I’d rather I was mad. 

Simon

The ritual spell hadn’t taken Penny long and as it finished we all felt the disappointment of failure. It hadn’t worked. We still had no idea where Baz was.

After a moment of silence Mordelia looked up at me, her gaze piercing. “So you’re in love with Baz?”

I only nodded, letting my face carry my sincerity. 

“Does he love you back?”

“He said he did.”

She nodded. “Then he did. Let’s use Simon.”

“What?” Penny demanded. 

“We need something that meant a great deal to Baz, yeah? How about the bloody love of his life?”

“I don’t think it works with people.”

“Worth a try. Simon, get your fucking ass in the circle.”

“Mordelia-“ Penny started but I cut her off. 

“She’s right, Pen, it’s worth a try.”

Penny glowered at me but then gave a brisk nod. “Fine. But for the record I think this is a bad idea.”

“I’ll do the incantations with you,” Mordelia insisted. “I’m good at finding spells and I can boost yours. Double strength.”

Penny opened her mouth to argue but we both jumped in.

“Penny let her.”

“Try to fucking stop me.”

She sighed and prepared the spell again. I stood as still as I could and thought of Baz. I thought of his smirk, his laugh, his grey eyes and full mouth, his hands and what those hands did to me. I couldn’t help but think of him warm and naked beside me, our bodies folded together. I thought of how much it hurt to love him, of how badly I wanted to keep loving him. I thought of him free and safe and happy and unhurt and with me. I thought of him as he should always be. 

I concentrated so deep that it took me a moment to realize the girls were talking, practically shouting. I opened my eyes and gasped as I realized my whole body was glowing. 

“Did it work?” I asked. 

“Unless you are really a living nightlight or Penny just sucks at magic, I’d say yeah.”

“Do you feel him or see him?” Penny asked ignoring Mordelia‘s jab.

“...no -wait yes! I mean I think so.”

“Umm yes or no?”

“It’s like there’s something inside me pushing in a certain direction. Like I know he’s north of us.”

“So basically we have to follow this moron into the night hoping it’s not just indigestion?”

“Come on!” I said. “We’ve no time to lose!”

I barreled out the door, terribly excited. I didn’t know how to explain it exactly but I knew where he was. I could feel it.

Baz

I was sitting in the dark, cold and hungry. Same old same old. I drifted in and out of sleep unable to truly escape my discomfort when all of a sudden a heat flared in me. At first I thought Fimon had come in without me noticing but this heat wasn’t burning. It was toasty and safe. I sighed as it banished the cold from my ears to my fingers to my toes. Then a popping sound, loud and harsh, and suddenly light poured in. The door was open! 

I waited for Fimon to enter but then the latches on my wrists popped open. What in the world was happening? I rubbed my wrists and waited but no one entered. I couldn’t hear a sound. Carefully I crept for the door and peered out. It was a simple hallway. The wooden floor ran alongside plain white walls. I stepped out and crept along the wall. 

There was still no sound and everything was empty. So I pushed onward. I’d find a door eventually. Around a bend in the hall I found one. Dark and heavy, I crouched by it listening and jumped when something banged on the other side. 

“Why isn’t it working!?”

It was Fimon. 

“Sir, your father...” Another voice began. 

“Has kept me here long enough! How am I not strong enough?”

“That’s how the spell works. It adapts as you do.”

“He said when the boy was eighteen!”

“His majesty has further plans for the prince.”

Relief like an ocean wave crashed over me. It wasn’t my Simon. My Simon was somewhere else not torturing people he professed to love.

“Why is he not dead!?” Fimon screamed. “If father is too weak then I’ll do it.”

“Not until the king commands.”

“I am owed what I was promised.”

“In due time. We will not question the king.”

My relief evaporated as quickly as it had come. Simon was in danger. I needed to get back to him. 

No sooner had I thought it when I felt a tugging behind my navel. I followed without thinking. It lead me away from the brown door until I came to a ladder. A trapdoor was at the top. I scrambled up and shoved the door open and gasped. 

In the shadow of night, the palace lay before me. The fucking palace. I hadn’t even left the grounds. I giggled. 

Simon

The tugging pulled me towards the throne room. I assumed it would take me out the way Baz had been taken. The throne room was as cold as ever but now black without the sun shining through the meager windows. 

“Simon, slow down,” Penny hissed. 

“He’s this way, Penny. I know he is.”

“But we need to think through this. Formulate a plan.”

Mordelia snorted. “Formulate? Ya fucking serious?”

Penny shot her a glare. “I think this is more serious then we think. Simon, I never told you where I found your mother’s portrait.”

“You said you found it in a book.”

“Yes. A very dangerous book that I wasn’t meant to find. Simon, I think your father-“

“Yes, Miss Bunce. Tell us what you found in those books,” came the voice of King Davy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it would make more sense to use Fiona instead of Mordelia but I wanted a younger character. It’s makes her more compelling I think but Mordy is definitely channeling her aunt. Next chapter things are going to hit the roof! Thanks for reading and you’re comments are much appreciated. They keep this whole thing going.


	14. Chapter Forteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I’d finish by the new year but I got lazy. Sorry. Next chapter will be the last and then probably an epilogue.

Simon

The three of us looked up in horror as King Davy appeared out of the darkness, a glowing ball of flame now in his hand. 

“Not trying to run are you, my boy?” My father tsked. “That would make me very unhappy. I might be forced to hurt someone you care about.”

“Don’t listen to him, Simon,” Penny growled, glaring. “He killed your mother.”

My heart flopped out onto the floor and I froze. “What?”

“Did I Miss Bunce? Pray tell.”

“You used your magic on her! You drained her of her life to power your rebellion!” She turned to me. “That’s how he did it, Simon. That’s how he overthrew the Pitches. He was only powerful enough because he used your mother’s life to do it.”

I gaped in horror at my father. His face went gentle. “She agreed to it, Simon. She was already sick and she knew that the Pitches couldn’t be left to rule. She sacrificed her life for the greater good.”

“And me. She left me,” I whispered. It was the thought I had never been able to chase from my mind. My mother had left me with him. 

Disgust flickered over my father’s face. “You were what was killing her.”

It was a punch to the gut and left me breathless. 

“He’s a liar, Simon!” Penny shouted. “He’s been doing the same thing to you since you were a boy! It’s why your magic is so unstable. He’s been leeching it.”

My father scowled and flicked his head. Penny screamed as she was tossed to the side, smashing into the wall. “That’s enough from her.”

I moved to go to her but he clenched his fist and it was as if he grabbed me. My feet left the floor as I struggled.

“You absorbed a great deal of Lucy’s magic while you were in her. It wasn’t until after the siege that I realized what you were. An accidental success. No baby had ever carried the kind of power you had. But before too long I realized it had been wasted. You’re too much like your mother, boy. Weak and pathetic. I couldn’t let such a resource go to waste. I should’ve finished this long ago.” He clenched his fist again and pain erupted through my body. He was crushing me. 

“Simon!”

I tore my gaze from my father and stared in astonishment. It was Baz!

Baz

I burst in through the door to the throne room and skidded to a halt. Simon hung in the air with his father below him. His face was twisted with pain and he cried out. 

“Let him go!” I roared. I did what came naturally and flames sprung up bright and hot in my hand. I hurled it at Davy. He leapt to the side to dodge and I missed but it was enough to loosen his hold on Simon. Simon dropped to the floor with another cry of pain. I ran to him. 

He gazed up at me in amazement. “You’re alive!” Tears filled his eyes. “He wouldn’t tell me. I wasn’t sure.” He threw his arms around me and I squeezed him. He was real. This was my Simon. 

I felt Davy’s magic before it hit us. 

Mordelia 

I had backed into the shadows the minute Simon’s father appeared. I don’t think he noticed me. I slipped forward, attempting to get behind the king. I had to dodge Penny as he tossed her aside. I crouched beside her as she groaned and held her down. 

“Don’t move, Penny. He didn’t see me. I’m going to get behind him. Once I’ve got him still, bind him.”

She nodded and I moved on. I was almost to him when a new voice entered the conversation. I looked over, stunned to see Baz. He was older of course and I barely recognized him except for the fact that we were undoubtedly related. My heart rose inside me. It was my brother! I had found him!

Baz rushed the king, hurtling fire balls. My glee swapped to horror as the king dodged, unfortunately, before I had time to move. 

Penny

I screamed, forgetting about Mordelia’s plan, as Davy smashed Simon and Baz with gust of powerful magic. They were torn apart and I heard a scream. Simon sailed passed me and hit the wall with a sickening crunch. He didn’t move. 

I looked around for Mordelia. She was supposed to distract Davy. I gasped aloud when I found her in a burning heap behind the king. She must’ve gotten Baz’s fireball. Davy stormed to Baz and lifted him from the ground. Baz kicked, fighting him, but Davy just tightened his control on him and Baz threw his head back and screamed. 

I felt tears on my face. My friends were dying. What could I do? Knowing that if I lashed out at Davy I would only get the same treatment, I crawled quickly over to Mordelia. I froze the fire around her and dragged her out. She was unconscious and her face badly burned. I fed in my healing magic trying to knit back her flesh. It was going to take two of us to slow Davy down. 

Baz

I screamed as Davy’s magic clenched around me. Fimon’s torture was nothing compared to this. It felt like the king was trying to squeeze out my eyeballs. I hadn’t seen where Simon had landed but I feared the worst. I had hit hard. I know something had to be broken, hence the raging pain. 

“Let him go!” I screamed. It seemed to be the only thought still loud enough to be said. “Let him go!”

“He’s mine, filth!” I heard Davy shout back. “I should’ve killed you years ago!”

My vision was going black and I struggled to stay awake. I moaned feebly, “Let him go.”

It was all I could manage.

Simon

I came to with a groan. My whole body felt broken. Consciously moving over my body I figured that some of me probably was. I could hear shouting and painfully dragged myself upright. I had to lean against the wall but peered around groggily. 

I could see Baz floating in the air. His head was lolling and I wasn’t sure he was conscious. I looked for Penny and found her supporting a dazed looking Mordelia. Both were limping forward, their eyes fixed on my father. I tried to shout to them but my voice was a croak. They lifted their hands and I sensed the binding spell they sent towards my father. 

It never reached him. He suddenly dropped Baz and whipped his hand out. Penny screamed but it was cut short as she froze. I thought her spell had rebounded but then noticed her coloring was dark. 

“No!” I shouted as I realized what he’d done. Mordelia stared in horror at the Penny statue beside her and shrunk away. Davy moved towards her and snapped her up. Her petite framed dangled from my father’s fist clenched around her throat. She gagged and swung her legs at him but he barely reacted. 

He turned to me with a twisted smile. “A new friend? Why don’t we add her to the collection?”

Mordelia fought harder, mouth open in terror, and I screamed but he dropped her body and she hit the floor with a heavy thump. I quickly looked to Baz but he hadn’t moved. I pushed off the wall and limped to him, dropping beside him. I rolled him over and held him close to me. His face was pale with only the barest scar now down one side. His eyes were closed and I couldn’t tell if he was breathing.

“Baz.” I shook him, tears filling my eyes. “Please, Baz, wake up. Wake up.”

“Is he dead?”

I looked up to see my father standing above us. He looked disappointed as he shook he head. “Alas. He has a heartbeat.” He smiled madly at me. “You want a Baz statue? Pose him anyway you like and we’ll display him in the garden. Or perhaps you’d rather he be more fitting for your bedroom?” He added with a mocking laugh. 

Hot fury burned through me. “You’ll do no such thing.”

“And you’re going to stop me?”

“Yes.”

I dragged myself to my feet and faced him. He just looked amused. 

“We both know you can’t use your magic,” he sneered. 

At that moment I felt something grip my ankle. Baz! He was alive! 

“You’re not taking him from me. I’m not going to let you hurt him or me or my friends again. I’m not going to let you hurt anyone ever again.”

The fury burned hot and dark. Instinctively I pushed it towards my father. He opened his mouth to speak but froze, his face twisting in confusion. “Simon, what are you-“ he cut off with a sharp gasp. His hands clenched at his chest. “How are you doing that? Simon! Stop!”

But I was beyond stopping. I felt a little how I did before my magic exploded but this was compact, focused. Instead of losing control I directed at my father. “You wanted my magic, didn’t you?”

He gasped and fell to his knees as more heat flooded from me to him

“This is what it feels like father. Do you think you can handle it?”

My father’s face scrunched up in determination and I felt a bit more room open up inside him. Somehow he was releasing my magic. I smiled. 

“There’s plenty more where that came from.”

For the first time in my life, I saw fear creep onto my father’s face. Suddenly the magic broke from me. Like a damn released, it poured like a flood into my father. He screamed. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t stop it. It emptied from me like a gaping leak and I was helpless to block it. It fled so fast that it was mere minutes until he collapsed, finally silent. 

Once it was done and I felt the last drop of magic eek out, I hit the ground as well. My limbs felt like wet noodles and I didn’t fight the sleep that overtook me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Davy is done. But what about Fimon?! Will Penny and Mordelia stay statues? Is Simon’s magic gone? Are Baz and Simon going to live happily ever after?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their reunion is bittersweet. Heavy on the bitter. This will get better I promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is becoming longer to write out than I thought. I am finishing it tho so please don’t forget about me!

Baz

It had been a week since Davy’s death. The castle had been in disarray since then. My family had been invited back to the castle. It was split between people wanting my family back on the throne and those wanting Simon. Simon, though, had made it clear he didn’t want the throne. He already referred to me as king. 

The first thing that needed sorting out was Mordy and Penny. Davy had turned them into stone and Simon had been inconsolable. To everyone’s surprise, the answer had been found in the kitchen. Ebb apparently could do a lot more than cook. The ease in which she reverse Davy’s spell was breathtaking. I tried to talk to her about it but she waved me off and went back to the kitchen.

Astounding.

Seeing Mordy again was as odd as it was wonderful. She had changed so much and yet being with her felt as easy as breathing. I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. She has an uncanny ability to sense my emotions and seems to know exactly when to be tough and when to listen. 

The week had been so busy that I hadn’t spent any time alone with Simon. I mean, I could’ve made time, but I terrified to be alone with him. I kept reassuring myself that he wasn’t Fimon, that he was real, but guards had searched the dungeon where I was kept as soon as I could get them over there but it had been abandoned. Fimon was gone. Davy’s death must have broken the wards keeping him there and now he could be anywhere. 

I hadn’t told anyone about Fimon except Mordy. They would think me crazy and I couldn’t help but think that I was. I didn’t know what to do about him. 

I knew Simon was watching me. He was no doubt wondering what was happening between us. I wanted us. I did but I could barely look at his face without seeing Fimon. So I put it off, begged busy and made sure Mordy or someone was always with us. I knew I’d have to explain sooner or later but I kept hoping that by the time later came around I’d have gotten over this fear. 

I should’ve known better. 

Simon caught up with me in the library. 

“Baz?”

I froze. I wasn’t ready for this.

“You’re mad at me. Because I let you get hurt.” The pain in his voice was heavy. 

“You killed you’re father for me, Simon.”

“But you still got hurt. I should’ve gotten to you sooner. I should have stopped it from happening at all.”

“I understand what happened. I didn’t expect you to chose me anyway.”

He flinched like I’d struck him. “So is that it? Are we...are we done?”

My breath caught as I felt panic shoot through me. “No. I don’t want that.”

“You can’t even look at me, Baz.”

My head finally came up and I met his sad eyes. Guilt squeezed my chest when I saw his tears. I forced myself forward and took his face in my hands. “I’m sorry. This last week has been hard. Everything feels off and I know it’s me. I’m just so...afraid.”

“Of me?”

*Yes!* My brain screamed but I shook my head. “I don’t want to wake up and be back in that dungeon.”

“I’m sorry,” he choked and started to cry. “I’m sorry I didn’t save you.”

“We already know you did. It was your magic that unlocked me, warmed me, and healed me. There’s not a mark on me from that place.” *On the outside, at least.* “You made that happen, Simon, and I’m grateful.”

“But?”

“But nothing! You saved my life and I love you.” As I said the words I felt them. I did love him. I loved him more than I ever had. I just wish I could unsee his face twisted in cruelty. 

“Baz-“ Simon cut off and clenched my arms. “Baz. Please. I need that. I need you. I love you.”

I tilted his head and finally kissed him. He held me harder and pushed back. I loved this. I loved him. I fucking hated Fimon!

“Let’s good somewhere private,” I said. “I think we need to talk.”

Simon wiped at his tears and nodded. 

Simon

I led him to our room. He hadn’t been there since he’d gotten back. Baz had spent each night with Mordy. It was hard to begrudge him time with the sister he hadn’t seen in seven years but I had missed him.

My heart pounded in my chest. I had been so certain he’d call us quits. He had barely spoken to me for a week and flinched whenever he looked at me. I knew he was avoiding me. It terrified me. I just wanted things as they had been before.

But now his hand was in mine and we were headed to our room. He said he still wanted us. 

As he closed the door behind us, I couldn’t help remembering our first time. We had fallen all over each other and it had felt so right and so easy to be close to him. I wanted that now. For the last week I had waited up for him, hoping beyond hope that he would slip in late and hold me like he had before. But he hadn’t come. 

“Baz-“ I began but his lips silenced me and I couldn’t push him away. This is all I wanted. Baz and me forever. “I thought you wanted to talk,” I whispered between kisses. 

“A touch is worth a thousand words.”

“So what are you saying?”

“That I need you too.”

His hands slid under my shirt and I moaned just from his touch. It had been so long. I reached for his hair as our lips met again. I pulled him closer but he grabbed my hands and pushed them away. 

“I need to be in control. Will you allow that?” He sounded confident but I could see fear in his eyes. What had happened to him? The thought of him being hurt, possibly...used, made my heart burn. 

“Simon?”

I nodded. “Anything. Anything for you.”

He kissed me again, now holding my hands at my sides. “I need you to undress,” he ordered. I kissed him again and then did as he asked. There was that look finally. His dark eyed look that told me he wanted me. It calmed me and I waited for what else he needed. 

“Kneel.”

I knelt.

“Simon...I want...”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Yes. I want that too.”

His hands shook as he undid his trousers. I took them in my own and kissed them. “I’ll do anything for you, Baz. You just have to ask.”

“I want to be close to you,” he whispered. 

“I’m right here.”

He freed himself and then buried his hands in my hair. He wasn’t hard so I leaned in and nuzzled at him. He whimpered at my touch. I began to lick, caressing his cock, balls, and thighs with my tongue. He shuddered. 

But he didn’t get hard.

I looked up at him and froze when I saw his tears.

Baz

As I shut the door, all I could think about was before when Simon had practically devoured me in his desire. I ached for that, for us to be close and desperate for each other. So instead of talking I kissed him. 

He pulled me close but his clenching hands sent fear rippling through me. So I stopped him and with love he understood. Naked he knelt before me, willing to do anything I asked.

Fimon would never acquiesce let alone be so willing. This was my Simon I kept reminding myself. But even as he touch me I could only shake. My mind supplied images of him looking up and laughing, mocking me with that twisted face. 

I hated myself as I cried.

Simon

I stood and pulled Baz into my arms and he cried against my neck.

“Baz, I’m here and I love you. We do not have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

He trembled and cried, “I just want to be close to you.”

“And we can start small. Can I just hold you?”

He nodded and I laid us down on the bed, wrapping the blankets around us. His cries quieted and soon he was asleep. 

*************

Baz woke up screaming. Panicked, I shook him awake. 

“Baz! Baz! You’re dreaming! I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Baz’ eyes shot opened and he immediately shoved me away. He staggered out of bed, running a shaky hand through his hair. 

“Let me help you, Baz. Please,” I begged. 

“How, Simon?!” Baz screamed as he whirled around to face me. His eyes red and wild.

“I don’t know. Tell me what you need. You can tell me.”

“Tell you what exactly? That your father had me tortured, starved, and-and violated as punishment for loving you? Or that you let it happen? That you abandoned me to him?”

“Baz, that’s not- you said-“

“Sure your magic freed me but why’d it take you so long? You watched as he cut me and dragged me away! Then went on to plan a wedding! Is that not what you did? You didn’t just bend to his every whim to marry some bitch so he’d send me away?”

“I wanted to save you!”

“Save me!? You didn’t even fight for me! You let your bastard father take me away and have whatever he wanted done to me!”

“I-I didn’t know, Baz. I didn’t think-“

Baz scoffed. “You actually thought your lying, murdering, abusing father was going to keep his side of a deal? He didn’t even wait a day before he hurt me!”

I cried openly. Baz was right. It was all my fault. I couldn’t bare the thought of what they had done to him. 

“He made me think it was you,” Baz choked out, his voice finally quiet. 

I looked at him in horror. He nodded. 

“Whenever I was hurt it was by someone who looked just like you. After a while it was hard to believe it wasn’t you.”

“I never, never want to hurt you, Baz.”

“I know,” he whispered, “but in my nightmares all I see is you.”

Baz reached for his pants and wouldn’t look at me. “I’m going to go sleep in Mordy’s room.” He didn’t say anything else as he left. 

I didn’t either. I didn’t know what to say.

Mordelia 

Baz was breaking. He pretended well, especially when father arrived and they began plans for Baz’ coronation. I don’t think father saw anything different in him except that he was a man now and had reclaimed the throne. 

But I saw him at night where he tossed and turned and whimpered in his sleep. The screaming was rarer but still just as alarming. He was losing weight, his eyes sunk, and he barely put a brush through his hair. 

He wanted Simon. I knew he did. I knew also why he couldn’t bring himself to go to Simon. I had been making spells to track this Fimon as Baz called him but it was hopeless. I didn’t know this person. I had nothing of his and more often than not my search resulted in Simon. 

I’ll admit I even investigated Simon; to see if it had been him that had hurt my brother but the former prince was worse off than Baz. He was restless and heartbroken. He often wandered the grounds and the city where he had never been. Mostly he was alone, unless Penny managed to cling on to him.

I was surprised the day I saw him in the courtyard with Princess Agatha’s entourage. (She had stayed for her father to finish meetings with the new royals. He had tried to swap the engagement to Baz but Baz had shut that down.)

“Are you leaving?” I demanded as he lifted a bag onto the carriage top.

“Yes. Agatha invited me to see some of the world with her and I thought it might be best if I wasn’t hanging around anymore.”

“So you’re giving up on him.”

He sighed and looked sad. “He doesn’t want me here, Mordy.”

“He does! He loves you! He will work through this. He will for you.”

Simon handed me a scroll. “That’s why I made this. This is our itinerary. It marks each inn we’ll stop at. Send a messenger if you need me. I’ll come as soon as you call.”

“Simon,” I pleaded, “please don’t go. He’s not okay and if you leave...Simon if you leave I’m afraid he’ll give up.”

Simon smiled wanly and chucked me under the chin. “You won’t let that happen. Besides he needs space. This is good for both of us.”

“Simon! Oh...”. Agatha came around the carriage looking as flawless as always. “Hello Mordelia.”

I forced a smile for her. It wasn’t her fault she almost stole Simon away from my brother. Except now she was so I swapped my smile for a scowl.

“Simon, the train master said he would like us to board. I’ll tell him you’re saying goodbye.”

“No, Aggie, that’s alright. We’re done.” Simon gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. “Tell Baz I love him and this isn’t me giving up. I’ll be back if he needs me.”

I watched, astounded, as Simon boarded the carriage with Agatha. The carriage train was already out the palace gate when Baz approached. I waved my hand at it in frustration. “That’s Simon leaving!”

“He went with Agatha? They...they look good together.”

I shook my head and snorted in disgust. 

“You are a fucking idiot.”


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz comes to his senses. Mordy ships it. Simon meets himself.

Baz

It was hard to breathe as I watched Simon disappear. So that was it. I’d lost him. 

I wanted to find Fimon and ring his neck. 

“Are you just going to watch him go?”

I looked at my sister. “He wanted to leave. Who am I to stop him?”

She rolled her eyes. “Baz! He’s in love with you! *You* pushed him away! *You*can bring him back!”

“I...can’t.”

“He’s not the bad guy! You weren’t there Baz. What he did in that spell I’ve never seen before. He couldn’t have done it if he didn’t love you.”

“He’s not the problem! I’m the problem!”

“But that’s not what you told him! You blamed him!”

I grabbed my hair in frustration. “I didn’t mean to. I...I woke up from...from *him* but Simon was there. I was scared and hurt.”

“Did you apologize?”

I growled angrily and kicked the head off a nearby flower. “What can I do, Mordy?! I already ruined it! Hey Simon I can’t love you right now because all I can think about are the horrible things you did to me that you didn’t really do! Oh and your face haunts my dreams and not in a good way!”

“Maybe he could help us. And Penny. We need to find this alter so you both can be safe. Didn’t you say he wanted to kill Simon and replace him? Now is his chance because there the prince goes, free and unguarded.”

“He wouldn’t now. Simon can’t get him the throne.”

“He’s has until your coronation. If Simon came back and challenged you there are plenty of people who would side with him. Game is not over yet, Baz.”

My body went numb. She was right. Until I was crowned king, Simon was still in danger. How did I not think of that!? 

“Mordy, I need a horse.”

“Ah! Fucking finally! Go get your boy! I’ll start planning your wedding.”

I glared at her. 

“Right. I’ll get you a horse first.”

Simon

We passed the beginning of the trip in silence. I could tell Agatha was anxious but I was too depressed to be the first to speak. The palace had just disappeared from sight when she spoke. 

“I’m sorry, Simon.” Agatha put a hand on my knee. “I know you love him.”

“I do. I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Do you think he’ll come around?”

“I don’t know.”

She opened her mouth to say more but a loud boom echoed in our ears. “What was that?” She said instead. 

Then the ground began to move. I grabbed Agatha just before the carriage toppled over itself. 

Baz

I was just passing the courtyard gates when the explosion ripped the air. My heart froze. I kicked the horse into a gallop and chased after Simon’s carriage train. 

Fear gripped me like I’d never felt before. What if I’d made a terrible misjudgment? My oversight could cost Simon his life. But he wouldn’t die. He couldn’t. His magic had protected him from his father it would do so again.

But Fimon also had a portion of Simon’s magic. 

I urged the horse faster. 

Simon

I blearily blinked my eyes and groaned as my body bounced over rough bumps beneath me. Where was I? I forced my eyes to remain open and saw the back of a figure dragging me across the dirt. 

“Who are you?” I demanded weakly.

The figure looked over their shoulder and grinned. Horror gripped my chest. It was me. I must still be unconscious and this was a bizarre nightmare. 

“Where are you taking me?”

The other me laughed. “Not far. Just far enough that none of the others will see if they wake.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to take the rest of your power and then hide your corpse.”

I bounced over a root and groaned as I hit my head. “I don’t think dreams are supposed to hurt this much.”

The other me laughed. “The pain hasn’t even begun.”

Other me was really freaking me out. “This is a really strange dream.”

“Oh the very strangest.”

I struggled to pull my feet from his grasp and he turned again but this time to scowl. “We’re not there yet. Stop struggling.”

“I don’t like this dream.”

“I do. I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”

“Wh-who are you?”

Other me smiled. “I’m you. Only better.”

As we entered a large clearing, I noticed symbols carved into the dirt. Other me dragged me to the center of it. A sick feeling awoke in me. “This isn’t a dream, is it?”

Other me just laughed. “Your Baz caught on a lot quicker. I dare say he knows you better than yourself.” His eyes glistened as he peered at me. “But then again, you recognize your darker side. After all, I am a reflection of you.”

At his mention of Baz I fought to sit up. “You’re the one who tortured Baz!”

“Oh did he say that?” Other me pouted. “It seemed to me he enjoyed most of it. Between you and me, I think he’s a bit of a masochist.”

My panic mixed with fury. “What did you do to him?”

“I don’t kiss and tell,” He leered. 

I leapt to my feet and dove for him but with a flick of his hand I flew backwards. I struggled but it felt as if a giant hand was pressing me into the ground. I gasped for breath and fought back. 

“What the hell are you?” I shouted. “Why do you look like me?”

“I already told you. I am you.”

“How?”

“Father. He created me. He created me to replace you. Look at you. Running scared. You turned down power. You turned down what father fought for and you betrayed him.”

“He’s a monster!”

“Not anymore,” my double laughed. “You took care of that. Not that I mind really. He had kept me long enough. I don’t need him anymore. When he died the wards that bound me vanished but, unfortunately, so did his transfer spell. That’s why I need you.”

Baz

I yanked my horse to a stop as I saw the wreckage. The carriages were all toppled, many broken and some still on fire. There were a few guards going to each carriage and pulling out passengers. I hurried forward as I saw Agatha’s fair hair.

“Agatha! Where’s Simon?”

Her face was pale as she shook her head. “There was some sort of explosion. When I woke up he was gone. I don’t know what happened.” Her lip quivered and she leaned against the man that had helped her out. 

“Did you see anything?” I asked the guard.

“It was sudden, sir. But it was a bright light, not an explosive but magic.”

I jumped off the horse and looked around, searching for any sign of Simon. 

“Simon!” I finally shouted, hoping he was nearby. “Simon, answer me damn it!”

Agatha laid a hand on my arm. “We’ll find him, Baz.”

“You don’t understand. There’s someone very dangerous after him. This was all to get to Simon. He’ll kill him. Simon!”

“Who?”

“The man who was keeping me captive - not Davy - the one that was actually there, he looks just like Simon. He’s some magical clone that Davy made but he’s evil and he wants to take Simon’s place.”

“Simon has an evil clone?” Agatha asked slowly. 

“Yes. Okay. I’m not crazy. We need to find him. Simon is in real danger!”

A snap from behind us made me whirl around. A bedraggled Simon fought his way out of the underbrush. 

“Simon!” I cried in relief.

He looked up confused. “Baz? What are you doing here?”

“I thought...I was worried...I...”

Agatha pushed me softly. “Tell him you love him.”

“I will!” I looked back to Simon. “I mean I do. Love you that is. I didn’t...I don’t want to lose you and was afraid you were in danger.”

“You mean from the other me?”

I gaped. “You saw him.”

Simon nodded shakily. “When I came to after the explosion he was dragging me away. I thought I was dreaming. He said he needed the rest of my magic.” Simon looked at me with pity. “He’s the one that hurt you, isn’t he?”

I nodded. “How did you get away? Where is he?”

“He tried to hold me down but I knew he must have been the one you told me about. The one that hurt you. It made me so angry...my magic...well it exploded. It blew him apart.”

My eyes widened. “He’s gone? You killed him?”

Simon smiled at me and came close. He cupped my face in his hands. “I know why you were scared but you don’t have to be anymore. It’s me. Look at me. I love you.”

Relief and gratitude poured through me and I pulled him close and kissed him.

Simon

I paused in my struggle when I heard a familiar voice. Baz! Baz was shouting my name. He came for me! My heart leaped but it did nothing to remove the pressure that held me down. I noticed Other Me looking towards the voice as well.

He turned back to me and smirked. “Looks like lover boy is coming to the rescue. Too bad. I was looking forward to our fun. I guess it will have to wait.”

“Release me,” I demanded. “You have enough magic. Look at you. Barely a swing of your hand and you’ve done this to me. I can’t do anything close to that. Why would you want me?”

“Because, dear boy, you are a battery. With your raw power but my competence I will be greater than even father.”

“I tried to give my magic to him but it killed him! This magic is too much. It will burn you out.”

“Oh no,” he chuckled. “I was made for this, you see? I am an open vessel for all that magic you have no clue how to handle. You are a waste.”

“Fine. Then take it. I don’t want it. But leave me and Baz be.”

Other Me threw his head back and laughed. “You sweet, naive child. I’m going to steal your magic and your identity. Then I’ll marry your Baz, kill him, and sit in the throne that I was promised.” He leaned closer with a sick smile, “Don’t worry. I’ll give him a wedding night to remember before I kill him.”

I started to roar with rage but the pressure above me changed and my cry was choked off as my body began to change. What was happening?

“Can’t have you ruining my fun, can I?”

When the weird sensation passed, I looked down at myself. A cat! He’d turned me into a fucking cat!

“Run along and try not to get eaten. I’ll be back when we have more time.” With a snug smile he went off. Towards my Baz. I hissed and went for his ankles but he kicked out and sent me flying. I felt something inside me snap but then I landed hard and blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be it! The end! But what I have in mind was taking longer to write out. Thanks for sticking with me. Things are going to hit the roof next chapter. I’m planning on a final battle and some sweet, sweet reunion for the boys. I also plan on adding a happy epilogue. Send me love to help me over this last bit!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright. Here it is. The finished work. I had fun with a sappy ending and I don’t regret it at all. So this whole thing is completely edited by only me and this is definitely first draft material but I’m glad some of you enjoyed it anyway. An epilogue may come eventually cuz it would be fun to write their wedding but for now this is it. Thanks for all the messages and kudos. I wouldn’t have finished this without your encouragement. <3

Simon

When I came to it was dark. I meant to groan as I moved but it came out as a growl. Oh yeah, I was a fucking cat. I could feel the fur on my back bristling as I remembered other me. What an asshole! 

Even in animal form I could feel my magic roiling inside me. This was it. The last straw. I had been afraid of my father for too long and I let Baz suffer for it but that wasn’t happening again. I was going to rip this identity stealing bastard apart before I let him hurt Baz again.

I needed to get home and fast. How was I going to do that as a fucking cat? If only other me had turned me into something with wings. But even as the thought went through my mind I felt pain and tearing at my back. I laughed (or yowled more like) when I realized what they were. 

Wings! 

My magic finally did something. It was about freaking time. I flapped them experimentally and snorted when I realized they were red, dragon like wings and that my new lashing tail matched, complete with a forked devil spike on the end. I guess doing magic with murder on my mind had its consequences. 

They worked remarkably well and I flew off towards the palace. 

This ended tonight.

Baz

Simon had been quiet on the way back home. He sat behind me on the horse, clutching me tightly. He turned down food, which he never does. 

“Si, you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just tired.”

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?”

He nodded and we said goodnight. Mordy gave me enthusiastic thumbs up behind Simon’s back. I rolled my eyes. We were just going to sleep, I told myself, and I just needed to be close to him.

We curled up in my bed and he wrapped himself around me, his hand on my chest. I held one hand over his, eager to reassure myself that he was there. He felt as if he was shaking. I brought his hand up to my mouth and kissed his fingers. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Fimon. The Fake Simon.”

He stiffened. “You call...him Fimon?”

“Yeah. I had to keep him separated from you in my head.”

He lay silent, still stiff. Finally he asked, “You do love me, don’t you?”

I rolled to face him. “I really do. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I felt I needed to to stay sane, you know? But when you left I was terrified that Fimon would do something terrible to you and that thought snapped me out of it. I never want to lose you again, Simon.”

“Then marry me.”

I blinked in surprise. “You’d...you’d marry me?”

“Yes. I want nothing more.”

I couldn’t stop the laugh that came out. 

Simon frowned. “Is that funny?”

I shook my head and tried to backpedal. “No! No, not at all. It’s just...well I spent years in love with you thinking that I was going to be miserable forever. Now look at us.” I took his face between my hands. “Simon, I can marry you. I can marry you and no one would try to kill me for it.”

A slow smile curved over his face and he laughed. “So is that a yes? You will marry me?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.” I leaned in to kiss him but then the window shattered.

Simon

I went straight to Baz and I’s room. Other Me would do the worst things he could do and in my mind that meant...taking Baz. Our windows were dark but it was late. They might have gone to bed. I landed on the window sill and looked in. 

The nice thing about being a cat was that the dark didn’t hinder my vision but the view I caught made my stomach burn. Baz was curled up with the Other Me on his bed. They looked like they were only talking but still, that imposter didn’t have any right to be that close to him. Suddenly Baz laughed and smiled and I could’ve punched someone (preferably the guy that had made Baz laugh). That laugh was mine!

Baz then leaned and I knew that face. He was going to kiss Other Me! Fury shot through me and the window exploded inward. 

I tumbled into the room and they both jumped up. They were both dressed. Good. 

Other Me scowled. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

I screeched at him and as I did my magic flared and burned and suddenly I wasn’t a cat anymore. 

“Get away from him,” I growled low.

Other Me smirked. “Jealous?”

“Get away from him!!!” This time I roared. I’d never been so angry before. It felt good.

Other Me shot his hand out but before his spell hit me I batted it away with a flick of my own. I reveled in the surprise on his face. 

“You’ve done enough. I’m not letting you take anymore.”

Then he laughed. “Really? But he just accepted my proposal.”

My eyes shot to Baz, who was staring at me in open mouthed horror. “You said yes? To him?”

“I thought it was you!”

“We need to come up with a secret sign or word so this stops happening,” I grumbled.

Amazingly, a smile curved his lips. 

“How I keep falling for it, I don’t know, because only my Simon would burst through the window and yell at me naked while somehow looking like a demon. You’re a mess and Merlin I love you.”

I looked down at myself. I certainly was naked. Thanks magic.

The Other me groaned. “You two are absolutely ridiculous. I’m not going to feel bad about killing you at all.”

I turned back to him and scowled. “Shut up. The love of my life just told me he loves me. And since you went and traumatized him, I haven’t heard that in a good while. So sod off!”

“Besides,” Baz said as he moved to my side. “It’s two against one.”

Other Me huffed and shot out his hand. Baz was shoved backwards hard. He grunted as he hit the wall. I stepped in front of him and tried to do the same thing to Other Me but my magic was still doing its own thing and instead it pulled him closer. I shouted in surprise as his body slammed against mine.

He struggled to pull away but it was as if our skin stuck together. He shrieked as his skin stretched like taffy. 

“What’s happening? What are you doing?” He screamed.

“I don’t know! Stop thrashing!”

The more he fought against me the tighter my magic pulled us together. My body burned hot where we touched but I had no idea what was happening. 

I looked to Baz, who stared at us with wide eyes. “Simon! What should I do!?”

I opened my mouth to speak but then I went off.

Baz

I had never seen anything more bizarre. I had thought seeing a naked, bedeviled Simon bursting through the window had been the strangest but I watched in horror as Simon and Fimon seemed to melt together. Their skin mixed and stretched as Fimon tried repeatedly to pull away. Simon was terrified too. I could tell. He looked to me in panic but I didn’t know what to do. 

Suddenly the room exploded into light and I threw up my arms to shield my face. It was Simon’s magic. I could tell by the smell. It shrieked as it whirled around the room. I could here Simon screaming. 

“Simon!” I screamed back, the terror from earlier ripping through me. I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t. 

I heard loud cracking and stone began to fall around me. They were pulling apart the room. I struggled to my feet and limped towards them. They both were glowing a bright white. I could barely make out their shapes. 

“Simon!” I shouted, reaching for him. The heat of his magic singed my fingers but I pushed forward. I wasn’t letting him go again. 

I stifled a surprised shout when a hand grabbed around my wrist. Shocked, I looked into the face of Ebb. 

“Ebb?”

“Don’t touch him. That kind of power could vaporize you.”

“W-What’s happening?”

“They carry the same magic. It recognizes itself and is trying to reconnect.”

“It looked like they were melting together!”

Ebb nodded solemnly. “Yes. They are not meant to be apart. They are merging back to the original form.”

The figure in the light screamed again.

“It’s hurting him!”

Ebb put out a hand towards Simon and a soft golden glow grew around it. It created some sort of beam and shot towards them.

“Simon. Can you hear me?” Ebb’s voice came out powerful and echo-y. 

“It hurts!” His voice cried out. 

“Don’t fight him, Simon. He’s a part of you. Hear him and let him in.”

“I don’t want to be bad!”

“Then love, dear boy. Think of all the love you hold inside. That is what makes you the stronger half.”

Simon

I was blind with pain. Ebb’s voice reached into me but I was on fire. Other Me had become only whimpers.

“Love.” She had said. “Love.”

I thought of Baz and Penny, Ebb and Mordelia, sour cherry scones and kissing Baz, sleeping late and basking in the sun. I thought of everything that meant anything. Then I wrapped my arms around the other me and squeezed tight. 

*We’ll be alright.* I told him. *Everything will be alright.*

I could hear him start to scream inside my head but I only pulled him closer. 

I kept thinking of Baz and let a barrage of images of all the nights we spent together and of laughing in the library spill through my mind. Then I saw us wearing crowns and holding hands. That image morphed as we aged and it was as if I could see our whole future unrolling before me. 

Other me struggled a final time and then I felt it. He slipped inside me like a drop of water into a lake. One moment he was there and then he wasn’t. I breathed a sigh of relief and then sank to the ground as the light around me faded.

Baz

Simon slept for two whole days. I was an anxious mess until he finally opened his eyes and smiled at me. He recovered quickly and I warily watched him for traces of Fimon but he seemed his usual cheerful self. 

I asked about what happened and his only response was, “I don’t feel much different except I hear my magic better. It’s calmer. I guess I just feel...put together. Like what had been wrong is now right.”

The only flare of difference was when we came together for the first time since before I was taken. I desperately needed his body against mine but his eagerness began to cross into domineering. My body froze for a moment when he pushed my hands above my head and held them there as he nipped along my neck and ground into me. He noticed quickly and pulled back. 

“Sorry. Sorry,” he panted. “I got carried away. I just...I need you.”

I sucked in a slow breath, collecting myself, and pulled his face down, slotting our lips together. Cautiously, he lowered his body back down on mine and kissed me slowly but thoroughly. 

“You should get on top,” Simon breathed as he came up for air. “Would that help, you think?”

We hadn’t done that yet. I liked taking him in me but my body perked at the idea. Simon would let me control his body, open him up and connect us in a new way.

“Yes. I want that.”

He flipped us so that I laid atop him. We kissed more then I moved down to his neck, then to his shoulder, his nipples, belly, until finally his cock. He spread his legs and I trailed kisses down his length. A wavering breath escaped Simon mouth as I moved lower. 

“Si, are you sure?”

He looked down at me and nodded sharply. 

“Anything. For you, Baz.”

“I want you to want it too.”

“I do! I do! Merlin, please, Baz!” 

His hips jerked up as my hands cupped his behind, only millimeters from his entrance. I pulled his cheeks apart to gaze at his hole. He hissed and clenched as I blew on it. 

“There are certain preparations that need to take place down here before-“

“I did that already,” he blurted. 

“You-?”

Simon was blushing. “Penny gave me this book. It - well - explained certain things.”

I smirked at him. “So you planned this. You wanted me to fuck you.”

I saw the shiver that ran through him. He wetted his lips before he said, “I just figured this would be easier for you if you were in control.”

I surged back up to claim his mouth. “I love you, Simon.”

“I love you too.”

Watching his body melt for me was something I’ll never forget. He stayed relaxed and limp and moaned encouragingly. When I finally eased inside him he took me effortlessly. His body bent and pushed back and together we made love. 

Once we lay back against the pillows, snuggled close, I asked, “He asked me to marry him before you...you know.” I merged my fingers to illustrate. 

“And you said yes,” Simon replied petulantly.

“I said yes to you.”

“I still can’t believe you thought he was me-“

I cut him off, coving his mouth with my hand. “I’m trying to remind you that I said yes to marrying you. Saying yes would suggest that I want to marry you. Do you catch my drift?”

Simon rolled his eyes at me as he pulled my hand away. “Are you wanting me to propose? Why can’t you propose instead of all this beating around bush?”

I huffed. “Because I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen. Of course *I* want to marry you. I’m just not as certain if *you* want to marry me.”

Simon smacked me upside the head. “Of course I want to marry you, you dolt.”

I glared at him and grabbed his hands, wrestling them to his sides. He laughed and fought me, struggling to flip me, but I sat on him and pinned him. “Will you stop mucking about? I’m trying to be serious.”

Simon sighed and relaxed under me. “Alright, Baz. Here’s serious. If you still doubt that I love you enough to marry you then I don’t think we’re ready to take that step.” He looked away. “Besides, I would hope we could get passed you looking at me like I might become some monster.” 

Guilt dropped heavy in my stomach. “I don’t think you’re a monster.”

“That’s not how it feels when you flinch if I move too suddenly.”

“That has nothing to do with you. Someone, not you, hurt me. I still have to heal. I shouldn’t have to apologize to you because of that.”

His eyes snapped back to me. “I didn’t mean...I’m sorry. You’re right. I just want you to trust me.”

“I’m here aren’t I?”

Simon pulled his hands free and ran them up my sides. “Yes. You are. Stay with me, Baz. I’ll give you all the time you need to heal. I only ask that you give me a million and one chances when I speak before thinking.”

“Alright,” I said imperiously. “I forgive you but you must also apologize for calling me a dolt. I always did get better scores on lessons than you.”

Simon laughed. “I’m sorry I called you a dolt.”

I rolled off him and ran a hand through his hair. “And I’m sorry you don’t think I trust you. I do, Si. I don’t know how to prove that to you.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me. I love you and you can always tell me what is wrong and what you need. That was the worst part about before. Not that you wouldn’t sleep in here with me, or kiss me or anything else. I could wait for that. But you wouldn’t even talk to me, Baz. You pushed me away and...it hurt. A lot. Please don’t push me away again.”

“I’ll try not to,” I whispered.

“Trust me that I love you,” he said. “Trust that what I want is for you to be happy. If I had to leave to make that happen then I would. I would give you up if you asked me so don’t question how much I love you.”

I could feel tears on my face and I sighed in frustration. “Gah. You’re making me cry.”

He smiled. “Come here.” 

He pulled me closer, settling my head under his chin and entwining his legs with mine. We lay like that quietly and I thought Simon had fallen asleep but then, “Baz?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“I do want to marry you.”

“I want to marry you too.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

I chuckled and we went quiet again. It lasted only a moment before Simon spoke again. “When Ebb told me to think of love, I thought about you. I was remembering being with you when I saw us as we could be. We were wearing crowns and holding hands. And it was as if I could see us growing old together. I want that. I want us forever.”

I placed a kiss over his heart. “Then we’ll be together forever because I do plan on marrying you.”

He sighed in what I guessed was relief.

I waited a moment before I asked, “So how did I look as an old guy?”

Simon laughed, so I laughed and we laughed together.


End file.
